I never liked Lassie

But Snowy in Herges Adventures of Tin Tin was pretty cool

Bengo was just an idiot

On the other hand - Muttley is a hero – now that’s a dog and a half, and you know what? (Dastardly retired to the House on the hill)!!

Scooby Doo – Juries out on this one as I’m not sure whether he’s as stupid as Shaggy

And Milo – remember him from the film Mask – I’ve no doubt the men out there remember Cameron Diaz more than Milo, but Milo and that mask – now that’s a dog I would love to take out and about – mind you? If Milo doesn’t want to come out with me then what about – no forget it – Cameron, nah, not my type!!!

I never liked and still don’t – Marley…..just got on my nerves, I started to read the book (borrowed) and the fillings in my teeth leapt out in disgust. And the film? Unprintable

Buster – Roy Hattersley MP – remember him? He had a best seller about that dog. A nice anecdote

What about Marmaduke? OK so what about him (Was Scooby Doo loosely based on him)??

Fred Bassett – enduring and has endured and as a Kid I had a Bassett – Fred Bassett rules

Snoopy – Timeless – Peanuts was very clever, and yes I bought a Snoopy toy!! SAD or what?

Dougall – The Magic Roundabout and a dog on Magic mushrooms – I’ve never been the same since I watched every episode. And Today?? They would never get away with the double meanings. For its time, that was very clever. But it took me years to work it out!!!

“Pass the mushrooms over here please dearest one”

And what about Gnasher?? Dennis the Menace’s pet pooch - Remember him?? Now there was a dog………if you saw one of those in the street you’d cross the road and if he lived next door you’d relocate and tell the new owners he was a pussy cat!!

And The Blue Peter Dogs…………Oh good grief – Embarrassing

And Dr Who’s K9 – he didn’t last long did he?? I’m not surprised

There’s been old slobber chops with Tom Hanks and the German Shepherd, K9 with John Belushi………

101 Dalmatians – Cruella De Ville – now I can associate with her because of you know who!! No, not Meryl Streep……oh come on, you know who I mean?

And of course there’s Churchill………….Ohhh Yesh…………..That car insurance company was smart – How odd – we’re insured with someone else!!

And Spin off’s??? Spotty dogs, Churchill dogs, Snoopy and blah blah blah

And the list goes on and on………..

Enter stage left…………Our Spins!!!

Oh God

I was thinking about the hero’s and zeros like the above because of Duncan???

With ten dogs we feed them in two separate rooms, the kitchen for the well behaved and sensible and the conservatory for the……..well how can I put this?? For the over enthusiastic!! The latter are the dogs who believe they have not been fed for about 10 hours and are of course now starving. Duncan falls into this category despite the fact he is putting on some real weight now he’s maturing fully.

Duncan has got into the ‘habit’ of jumping up and down on his back legs, on the spot like he’s training for the Para’s or the Marines. And jumps they are as well – his back feet are 2 feet off the floor, his head is well above the door frame.

Once he sees the food coming out he’s suddenly on terra firma, planted and solid to the floor waiting for his bowl to go down. Then he’s a pussy cat!!

So what category would Hollywood put him in??

The Mask? Nah…….

I know? Dogs in space…….”more mushrooms please”

But me being me I thought it would be a good idea to nominate our Spins for various starring roles in the movies, the papers, comics and cartoons

Think about it?

Your dog or dogs must have traits and personalities that match our hero’s and zeros or you can see them in a similar scenario to what you’ve read or seen. Well OK then I could see ours that way- but then again, I would!!

But I also have moved on to the Spin off’s – No…..not Spin pups!! But the stuffed toys and the picture books to colour in and the little waggy tale stories. Oh bless them all…

$$$$$$$$$$$$

Just imagine a Spinone nodding dog on the rear shelf of your car!!

You were always going to buy a bigger car anyway

The Spinone stuffed toy in the pram or baby buggy – complete with the baby in the shopping basket part underneath – because the toy is cuter and anyway it takes up all the room

You buy your child a pop-up book with a Spin popping up – and it knocks the kid off its chair

What about the T-Shirts and the sweatshirts?

Posters of a Spin on the kids bedroom wall…….if you have two or three Spins you need never decorate again- In fact if you left them in there with a bone each for five minutes they could add authentic slobber as well…..perfect

Gosh? I’m now giving away free decorating tips

And I’ve forgotten what I started to write about, I’ll get a cup of tea and come back to this after said refreshment

Right then, where was I?

And I’ve just thought about refreshing drinks with a Spin association?
- Coke and slobber please, shaken, not stirred
- Lemonade and slobber with ice and lemon
- Café Latte topped with slobber
- Lemon tea with ice and slobber
- And my favourite? Pimms with slobber, cucumber slice, touch of mint and ice

I’ve started a trend – I just know it

And then of course there’s the record deal?

JJ Spinone and the Howlettes with their number one hit single – ‘Slobber me gently’

But haven’t you looked at your Spin and thought – that was a movie moment, wow, I read about this in the Dandy, or read the cartoon strip in The Daily Ishtlubb

Is there a cartoon strip in Dogs World??

Or is it all too serious for that kind of thing??

I was actually thinking of going down to our local vets and asking them if they wanted to use one of Our Spins for Marketing purposes……..but that was dropped after The Dearest One told me they would probably put me down…..

RIP Banker

I could imagine the Hollywood Blockbuster “SPINONE TREK”…..Too boldly go where no Spin has gone before

And the sequel “RETURN OF THE SPINONE ”

OK so substitute the wookies for Spins!!!

I could just imagine Mr Spock trying to keep calm with one of them in the cast, or Yoda trying to teach one to sit…….and hearing Yoda’s immortal line “Try? There is no try, do or do not”

Darth Vadar would have summed it up better “The force is strong in this one”

Oh come on think about it? Substitute Lassie with a Spin…….if I had fallen down the well and was waiting for a Spin to see my plight and run off to get help

The Lassie Scenario?
“Bark bark, bark, bark” “What’s up Lassie?

“Bark, bark, bark, bark” “Oh no – you mean The Banker has fallen down the well and has hurt his leg and needs us to go in the 4 wheel drive with a medical kit and rescue him”?

“Bark bark,” “Well let’s go Lassie – jump in the back”

The Spin Scenario?
“Where’s The Banker JJ”?

“JJ, wake up”

“JJ where is he, come on let’s go and find him”

“JJ – come on there’s a good boy – wake up”

Sometime later

“JJ – where did you get that bone from”?

Then there’s Muttley!!
“We’ll never get to the show on time Muttley” “We have a puncture”

“Sacanfracanricingrrrrrr”

“What will we do now”?

“Brilliant idea Muttley….I lay down in the middle of the road and you look as if you’re helping me and the first car to stop will help us change the wheel”

Sometime later - after winning the show Muttley who had got a lift to the show from the first car that stopped remembered where The Banker was in the road. Muttley changed the wheel, dragged The Banker into the back of the car and drove home…….!!

The Spin in this Scenario?
Stayed asleep in the back of the car and then only woke up to bark at the roadside recovery man sent out to swap over the spare wheel……..and didn’t get to the show

Snoopy
Snoopy was Snoopy………but if a Spin had bubbles coming out of its head with strange hieroglyphics in it – then it would have taken that to be just another day!!

Scooby Doo
Scooby Doo – “Heeheeheehee………Dearest One has Scooby snacks” “And no ghosty beasty thing stops me from getting a Scooby snack”

The Spin Scenario
“If I don’t get a Spin snack then I’m going to eat the Dearest One” “And anyway, that ghosty beasty thing in the background is probably just Duncan with a toy out the toy basket and is about as scary as that French idiot Claude”!!!

Dougall
I reckon we’ve got the re-incarnation of Dougall from the Magic Roundabout?

Kallie!! Spends her day spaced out and is so laid back its horizontal even when out and about. That dog wouldn’t break into a trot let alone a run even for a month’s supply of Spin snacks in one feed. I personally think she goes off out into our wood and eats the mushrooms……..Dude

Fred Bassett?
Well he’s all about food and keeping away from the dog next door. But the food thing is Fred’s specialty and I’m not even going to go there with a Spin……!!

Cruella De Ville??
Well she would have to be in it somewhere wouldn’t she? But I don’t think it would be for the dog coats as would have our misfit heroine in 101 Dalmatians who was fixated by wanting a Dalmatian coat.

“I’ll skin you if you don’t get that bucket of tea to me 8 seconds” I hear all too often – so yes it’s my coat she wants and finds all sorts of excuses and traps for me to fall into. But our house allows me lots of space to run and hide and sneak about.

Outside is even better with loads of places to go to and pretend to do some work, or just potter around and keep out the way of the one that wants to skin me alive.

The Spins are safe enough because Cruella has ‘turned’ and is the anti humanoid now………
“More machine now than man” “Evil and twisted” – OB1 Kinobe

Or in the case of The Dearest One ‘OB1 Can’ardly’

Oh that will go down well!!!!

And so it’s red carpet night and the stars are out, the fans are behind the barriers, TV crews, the press, interviewers and lots of glamour and glitz……and that’s just for The Dearest One coming back from shopping……………for the dogs!!

The first limo pulls up, the door is opened by a Rottweiler and out steps – Mia!!

The crowd go wild, there’s a lots of pushing and shoving as the crowd wants to see close up the Boss of the Spins, The Director, The General, The CEO of our house. With all the regent and dignity of a known star – sorry – Superstar, Mia takes a slow and “Oh God, more riff raff” saunter down the red carpet.

Next is Duncan, he leaps out of the car and bounds around like he’s overdosed on steroids, he bounds over to the adoring crowds where he takes the kisses and the hugs from his adoring fans. Duncan welcomes the treats and jumps up and down like Zebedee – who is also on mushrooms – no sorry – steroids. Eventually, Duncan gets to the end of the red carpet, finds a corner and settles down for the night. The steroids have worn off

Oh and look who’s here – Freya

There are cheers and roars of approval as Freya steps out of the car wearing a Versace coat in a mixed two tone brown. With her long legs and slender body the boys are salivating to get a better look at this perfection on legs. Freya has a loyal and loving fan base having already starred at many shows and even at her young age has already won an Academy award for best actress at this year’s Crufts. Such elegance as she struts down the red carpet - and falls over Duncan

Next to arrive is Kallie – the car pulls up and the door is opened – and

Nothing

She’s asleep on the back seat

After several agonizing minutes and the crowd impatient, she finally gets out of the car. It’s a lazy walk and Kallie is unfazed by all the glitz and glamour, the flashing of the camera’s and the noise. She takes a VERY slow walk down the red carpet – yawning along the way – she’s asleep by the time she gets to the end of it

Another car pulls up and its Unica – She immediately jumps out wearing a lovely white gown by Chanel - surely not? A French gown for an Italian superstar

Unica wastes no time and is off down the red carpet sniffing the air and the ground, she is on the hunt, but where will the trail lead? She gets a scent and she’s off………..

The man in the third row has a beef burger – a McDs I think, and Unica’s on it in a flash. He stood no chance.

But wait?

Unica’s caught another scent? Oh no – it’s the lady right at the back sharing a KFC with her two children. It’s an awful sight, it’s not pretty at all……..the tomato sauce is splashed down Unica’s gown at the back, the kids laugh as she feasts on their KFC…..Mom is not so pleased though and scurries off to get another one……….with Unica behind her.

Unica never made the red carpet that night

Shortly afterwards and giving the crowd time to catch their breath another car slowly pulls into view, it makes a slow stop at the side of the red carpet and the crowd are intense – it’s started to rain – no it hasn’t – that was just a joke. Get it? the crowd are intense because it’s started to rain – oh just forget it then.

Oh and look at this…….no one can make an entrance like ‘he’ can. Mr Muscles himself. The Arnie of the Spin world, the Bruce Willis of dogs…….JJ Spinone oh oh 7 himself

WOW

JJ has a Hugo Boss suit in white and orange, it’s a tight fit and you can see his muscle tone. The girls feint, some are in tears, others just aghast at the Chill off the hill, after all, this is one chilled out superdog. Even the men in the crowd have gone green – either with envy or the tuna was off in the sandwiches. Shock horror – some of the men have also feinted. JJ has this affect you know.

The noise is deafening, the camera flashes light up the night sky, TV presenters and interviewers rush forward to get close to ‘The Main man’

And for JJ it’s all too much??

He’s not for this kind of publicity and he jumps straight back into the car and onto The Dearest Ones lap.
A screech of tyres and he’s gone

Wimp!!!!!!

Next to arrive is Savvy…..Savanna

The car slows to a halt and Savvy steps out - and stretches……..wearing a lovely Burberry white and orange coat the crowd gasp in awe at the stately Savanna. She looks around as to where the food source might be. The crowds cheer and shout her name as Savvy also won an Academy award earlier this year for her role in “Crufts – The final Frontier” in which she played best supporting actress to Freya in the same film.

Savvy, is used to the fuss and the potential treats she might get and is therefore happy to meet and greet the fans, Savvy also stops to sign autographs in the vain belief it will lead to a treat. It doesn’t and she wanders off down the red carpet…….

Hang on – who’s this?????

OMG!!!!

Oh no…….

It can’t be……….but it is

Another car pulls up slowly, this car is much smaller than the Limos previously pouring out Spinone’s on their big night out.

It looks like a small French car……..an old Citroën 2CV if I’m not mistaken

Is it the Pink Panther?

The fourth musketeer perhaps?

Is it a lost legionnaire?

Oh good grief it’s Monsieur Je t’aime himself

Monsieur et Madame’s eet ees Claude Barbet

The crowd boo and hiss in a most hostile manner

This is a Spin night and here is that French lunatic to ruin everything

At the end of the Red Carpet are a few Spins all lined up and laughing out loud with a particularly large ‘howl’ of laughter from JJ……….the joke is on Claude Barbet who by now is looking all rather sheepish in a Barbet kind of way?

Sometime later we discover that the Spins told Claude to turn up for his big night out on the town and to receive the applause from his adoring fans for being the first Frenchman allowed into what has famously become known as Little Italy.

Claude is not amused

But for the Spins it is a night they will never forget.

Maybe for your Spin it will be too? Have a think about where your Spin fits into Hollywood – I have – and concluded it’s the Car Park!!

Take care out there and don’t get cold………




 

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