The Joys of being out in the car with your Spin

Gosh!!!!! I can’t remember the number of times I’ve mentioned the Landy, the Spins and us all going out and about for runnies somewhere or other (Remember – Spins don’t do walkies)

It was with this in mind and of course the joy it brings to us all that I decided to provide you with another invaluable illustrated guide to taking the Spin out for a Spin……..well out in the car anyway.

This is another one of those guides that will prove indispensable for a number of reasons??

1. Choosing your next car that has the capacity to take a Spin and family (Family optional)!!
2. Ease of cleaning the inside of said car
3. Things you will need for the journey
4. Cleaning the kids (where applicable) at the first stop you come to
5. Window openings
6. What to do when you get near the drop off point for runnies
7. Getting your Spin in the car in the first place
8. Back at home

Now I will, throughout this guide be covering all the above along with little tips from the lessons we have learned.

But the energy behind these notes is simply to provide you with a sensible and Nonsense guide – sorry – a NO nonsense guide for you to fully enjoy the experience of showing the world you’re not afraid to take your Spin out with you in the car.

So let me begin!!!

The Spin is a big dog.

Therefore you potentially need a big car, unless that is you want to be up close and personal with it whilst travelling. If you choose the up close and personal effect I would go for a small car, and let’s face it there are dozens to choose from especially with next to nothing road tax, 334 miles to the gallon or 4 hours driving on full charge (by the way, I would not recommend an electric car because if your Spin chews through a power cable both you and those on the road with you are going to be in for one hell of a shock)!!

A fiat 500 or Panda, Ford Fiesta, Vauxhall Corsa, Peugeot little thing, a Hyundai smaller thing or a VW Polo, maybe a Kia midget thingy, or what about a Toyota Yaris………any of these would be ideal if you and your Spin are close friends!! Very close in fact…….

By the way, forgot to tell you that IF and I stress IF you do have a small car and a Spin then remember NOT to put the Spin on the parcel shelf??

Its head will definitely NOT be nodding because it’s broke the parcel shelf and fell onto the floor space below and if the car has a really small space then it’s also likely that it has become lodged and you’ll need to call for assistance to dislodge it. Embarrassing…………

Actually if your Spin is really clever you could even share the driving – but? You may need to buy an automatic for that experience because in a manual car they tend to grind the gears when changing up or down, their paws slip off the gear lever (told you this was full of useful little tips)

Now, similarly if you have a partner or wife or someone else’s or both, or you might have a child or several (they call the smaller carbon life forms, children) then obviously you may go for a medium sized car and here again there are dozens out there to choose from. These are like small cars only bigger.

Now someone asked me ages ago what I used the Spin for, being a HPR, I told them a small - and we’re talking small - white lie

“Well actually I polish the car with it” No no no – ignore that, that’s me being silly. We use one of the Springers for that…..

“Oh that’s easy, we of course don’t use it for hunting or anything like that because of the UK laws on ban the ban and hunt the ban and all that rubbish so in order to ensure it is exercised thoroughly we have a seasonal approach”?

I went on: “In the winter snow it pulls the kids on their sledges back up the hill, for the adults we use it to pull us up the same slope but on our ski’s, much like a ski lift – then it all goes downhill from there”!!!! “The Spin chases after us and we repeat the exercise until one of us has”

a) Hit the tree we avoided earlier

b) Gone straight through the hedge at the bottom of the hill, onto the road the other side and caused a major traffic accident

c) Run over the kid who didn’t get out of the way fast enough

d) Slammed into the side of the car which I knew when I parked it, was a stupid place to put it - but convenient

e) Escaping from the irate parent of the kid I ran over earlier

“In the summer it pulls me along on my mountain bike or my roller skates. But I should stress that I don’t use the roller skates in the mountains – that’s just silly”

“If that’s not enough then we use the Spin to pull the boat along when we’re out fishing as they are such strong swimmers – we don’t do this very often though as they tend to chew through their life vest and it deflates rapidly and the River Police then prosecute us for speeding…….”

Now at this point you might think I’ve digressed?? But no……..not me, not this time.

Because the point of the above is the things you take with you when you decide to go out with your Spin in the car. It’s nothing to do with the above, I’m just changing the subject. You need to allow space for these items, and that brings me neatly to the BIG car…………..and here again there are lots of them, especially, Estate cars. Station Wagons and the like, mini bus things and vans

The Dearest One wants me to get her a van!!! I choose to be tortured and hung at dawn rather than be seen in a van. I would have to be forced at gun point and then with a paper bag over my head before I got in one of those. But she said “Where do you keep the gun cartridges”?
“I could get ALL the Spins in one and still have room for the Ski’s, sledge, boat etc”

I got the cartridges out for her…………..

I recognise as we all do that the cost of fueling these cars is of course controlled by the Government to ease the burden on the tax payer for the austerity measures in place and in doing so we are all further contributing to our ridiculous debt levels. Unless of course you’re a bank and then going broke doesn’t matter as the Government also use that fuel revenue to say “There there Mr will be alright, have zillions of pounds and forget you were ever in a mess” “And keep a bit in reserve for your bonuses” “You deserve that”

A Minor digression on behalf of The Very Cynical of the Government Party…….Come the revolution brothers and sisters…….

Nevertheless, big cars use fuel.

But, it’s a luxury and one that we must have, there’s the shows (if applicable) field events, pointing, tracking, hunting and retrieving (Jolly naughty but isn’t that what their for) or just a companion and great for you to get out and about and away from the idiot box (Television)
So either way, you want your Spin on walkabout with you, and to mix it up a bit you choose to go away from the same old path, you take them out in the car with you.

Now before I go any further there is one thing I want to cover off – Travel sickness

The Spins – not yours!!

Now I get travel sick when I’m out with The Dearest One…’s her taste in music that does it. The singing along to it is bloody awful as well, but her taste in music would make a saint cry.
If I want to put a track of my music on, the CD is ejected, held in the left hand and thrown out of the window (after she’s opened it)

Slasher Dearest One as she’s known locally because some of those CDs have hit pedestrians and sliced off a hand or a leg as they whizzed through the air. If we’re out together they put a double shift on at the local hospital.

Anyway, you don’t want to know that….and anyway, I got me some headphones now!!

We’ve only ever had one travel sick Spin and we learned how to overcome that and not had a problem since.

We didn’t take it out again!!!

I’m confident you all have your own methods…..but in the winter when you can’t roll down the window it’s no fun is it?

And when you do roll down the window you then have to compete against a Spin that also wants to stick its head out of the window. And that’s even less fun…and and and…with The Dearest Ones music blaring out it is absolutely suicidal.

I tried following one of my CDs out the window once but got stuck………and was duly punished severely when she drove along the hedge!!!

OK let’s get serious……….

I have always wanted to put in the Landy windows, along the inside at the back, an A4 sheet taped to the window??

“We’re Italian Spinone’s in case you were wondering”

Obvious I know, but it helps if you stop at a place with lots of people going “Oh aren’t they
sweet, what are they”??

“They slobber a lot don’t they”? “Can you still see out the windows”?

We have now standardised a reply: “Dogs, Italian, Spinone, and we’ve only stopped to clean the bloody windows”

But my notice on the rear side windows?? You’ve got to admit it’s a good idea…….Me thinks I will suggest that to the Dearest One. I’ll get a prize I’m sure!!!!

I’ve forgotten where I was now………

Let’s have a look at the things you may wish to take with you for your runabout with the Spins.
This list is of course generic and you will have your own preferences, but if you’re new to the joyous world of being owned by a Spin then it will help you along your path to an enjoyable runnies……..

- Huge Rucksack

- Clothing relative to season – and it’s a good idea to take a change of clothes as well!!

- Boots preferably waterproof – you’re bound to end up in the water at some point

- Pockets full of treats

- Leads – I don’t know what for, but added this by association – dogs = leads

- Dog whistle (at some stage you won’t be able to use your fingers)

- Water….forget that, they’ll find water!!

- Bedding for the car…..and make it comfortable otherwise you’ll end up with them on your lap

- Window cleaner

- Rear windows (slightly open) if you open a front window – watch out because when you come to close it you’ll throttle the dog!!

- When you get close to your destination – they will know as well, so keep as calm as you can otherwise they will open the door before you’ve pulled up (Tip: make sure the child locks are engaged)

- Cleaning cloths – just you wait until they get back in!!

- Panadol or Paracetomol or similar for your bad headache

- First Aid Kit. You should have one anyway, but you’ll need one to cover your cuts and bruises

- Training dummy, tennis balls, Frisbee, rubber duck and or toys to suit. Make them cheap one’s as you won’t see them again

- Poo bags…..(toilet roll, panty liner and disinfectant)?? Read Freya’s Diary Week 33 and you’ll see why!!!

- Sandwiches, 27 flasks of tea (Dearest One’s)

- Compass, Swiss army knife, a torch, box of waterproof matches, and a book? ‘Survival for Dummies’

- If you have children with you? No one can help you………you’re on your own!!!

Other than that you should have a good day out

Unless you’re in a small car??

If you are in a small car with your Spin then the chances are you’ve got the dog on your lap whilst driving because it’s the only way you can get all the rest of the stuff in. And if the Spin is on your lap remember to ensure you have an automatic car.

You’ll need to stop every 14 miles to clean the inside of the windows so allow extra time in travelling to cover this point off.

Don’t forget to wear your seatbelt – it’s a great distraction for the dog who will settle down and start to chew through it.

Don’t have an accident because the seat belt was rendered useless earlier and knowing your luck during your transfer through the windscreen the dog will land on you and get up from the accident unharmed. This of course is academic if the air bag has gone off because you’ll either be wearing a nice curly coated suit or the dog will be wearing outdoor clothes……….and the air bag?? Punctured when the dog stuck its claws in it to prevent it hitting you!!!!!

My advice – buy a medium sized car.

So the insurance has finally paid out for the accident damage to your small car and with the 37.50 you were finally awarded you upgraded to a medium sized car.

Brilliant, luxury at last.

You’ve bought a dog guard for the back, rubber matting for the floor and a nice soft bed for the dog to settle on when out on the open road. The back seat is full of your bits and pieces for the walkabout later on and somewhere under all that you may have the children. The dog comes first, doesn’t it!!!

And off we go………….

The dog settles down after a bit of scratching around early on to get its bed comfortable, the guard is doing its job. The slobber you’ve confined to the rear window and rear side windows, the open window is allowing plenty of airflow although it is blowing around all the dog hairs and within a short time the car looks like it has pimpmobile seat covers and the kids look a little chimp like……..Albino and orange or brown and white in a roan kind of way.

Then the police stop you??

“Sorry Sir/Madam but your brake lights are not working and we’re concerned you can’t see out of the rear window”??

“The window appears to have a frosted look to it or the dog has sat up and completely obliterated the vision out the rear of the vehicle”

When you investigate the rear light issue you discover said dog has ripped out the wiring to the rear lights whilst it was scratching to make its bed comfortable.

Not to worry, easily put back.

Just got to remember to take the bits of rubber matting back to the shop and tell them where it can next be placed………for environmental reasons of course.

And so you arrive at your destination already worn out, you’ve got a £50 fine to pay, the kids look prehistoric, the car looks great on the outside but its clear the interior has been at war. But the dog is eager to get out and go on runnies… much so that it’s scratched the paint off the inside of the rear door and the shiny metal is a nice touch underneath.
You let it out and whoosh……………gone!!!!!

Kids next and…………..”Can we stay here in the car it’s cold/raining/I’ve just to kill off this alien army on my Nintendo/why’s the dog jumped on that old lady with the sandwiches”?

But so far so good……….

You get home, kids exit to house, you empty car, you call in experts to clean the interior, you fall asleep waiting for the potatoes to boil – you’re exhausted. All that country air and running after the dog has worn you out. And its work again tomorrow…

And the dog? Spark out on the couch – your couch!!!!

So you trade in the medium sized car for a BIG car……..good for you. You did not give in, you took it on and now with the full sized dog cage in the back with solid titanium floor and curtains, runnies with the dog is going to be a breeze……….

It’s academic you can’t see out of the rear window because the curtains are drawn, but who cares. The wiring is safe, the windows are clean and the dog has settled. Sure is quiet back there…Bliss

You arrive at the appointed play ground for all things exercise and get out of the car to change into full combat gear. The kids actually want to do this……..the excitement mounts.

Round to the rear of the car you go armed with collar and lead, a treat for the dog awaits in the other hand.

You open the rear door……..pull back the curtains – and nothing. No dog, no mess just a void where there should have been a dog.

You phone home and the dog answers (yawning) – you’ve woke it up and got it off your couch just to find out where it was?? Pathetic……

You blame everyone and everything……… sucks

We used to be the same?

But the Dearest One created a very clever plan??

Tea Urn or flasks Check
Coats Check
Toys Check
Boots Check
Whistle Check
Rucksack Check
Spins Check
Treats Check
And so on Check

Good eh………

Don’t know about you but when we go out and drive through a local town or village and we’ve got the Spins in the back of the Landy and one or two or seven have got their heads out of the windows, people stop and stare? Well alright then they do at us……….

We can hear them as we drive slowly through (bloody speed camera’s)

“Quick hide the kids it’s that couple with those lunatic dogs” or “Quick hide the food it’s those idiots with their marauding pack of dogs”

We’ve heard things like “Run for your lives” and “Run for the Hills they might stop and get the dogs out and go shopping – for our food”

Others are not so polite “Clear off you loonies and take those Curly Haired Golden Labradoodles with you – except the brown one” “The black sheep of the pack”!!!!!!

It’s no fun sometimes and some of the locals now carry tranquilizer guns with them. The dogs are fine it’s us they’re after – I blame the Dearest One. Told her to just keep the one……..but oh no not her? Had to go and get seven of them……..and now we have no friends and are on wanted posters all over town.

But an attraction they are and of course our good old Landy takes them all in its stride. We don’t but the Landy does.

For us, when it gets filthy inside and out we hose it down and literally wash out the interior – because you can with one of them. When I say we, I mean the Dearest One because apparently I don’t clean it well enough so I end up being the tea boy.

When The Dearest One cleans the Landy the Springers are cowering under the sink or have hidden under the Spins because they know that one of them will end up being used to polish the Landy with, but don’t tell the RSPCA……!!! It’s our little secret

So let’s summarise for you if you’re taking the Spin out in the car with you, whether it’s a walk round town, a walk in the park (Avoid parks in the summer? Too many picnickers and all those sandwiches)!!! A blast through the woods and wilds of the Country – assuming of course it’s not all been developed, the beach (where the Councils haven’t banned dogs – and if they have? Ignore it but don’t get caught)!! And if you do get caught?

• “The dog ran off and I was trying to get it back”

• “Where do I live”?? “Oh near Bullshctty”

• “Yes I know it is 53 miles from here and that explains why I look so haggard and worn out, that’s a long run from there you know”

• “But I don’t want to come with you, I don’t know you and that uniform is going to fool no one”

• “Get off the nice man Gilbert he doesn’t want his uniform covered in your dog hairs”

• “Well, better be going now, it’s a long way back”

• “Should just get back to change for work”


Er……….I appear to have digressed again

Take appropriate bits and pieces with you as listed above and make sure you are in control of your dog all the time especially when it’s off the lead, which is bit like saying all MPs are truthful and honest all the time and their expenses are all legitimate and that they only have the interests of their constituents when addressing matters in the House of Commons.

Anyway, the Spins are great fun to take out and we’ve always found an excuse regardless to get out and enjoy not just being out and about but also having a damned good time with them.
We’ve had friends round and when they bore us we just show them where the tea things are and a packet of biscuits (the one’s we don’t like) and off we go with the dogs.

Today we don’t have any friends………which is good!! The dogs and us are well exercised!!!

See?? Another vital tip for you and I hope you appreciate it!!!!!

Well I hope this has proved useful to you and watch out for more guides in the future!!

It’s the light nights now so get out there and enjoy your time with the Spin…..or plural

By the way??

I’m thinking of writing a “Spinones for Dummies”!!!! Keep an eye on the website and be the first to get your copy. Or buy a dog!!!

That’s it for this session, take care, drive safely and with consideration to the Spin or Spins in the back – buggar other road users as they haven’t got such a precious cargo as you………..

“I’m a Spin owner, therefore I am”

And on that Philosophical note……….Good bye for now

PS: No Springers were hurt during the cleaning of the Landy as we only use environmentally friendly polish. Which is of course complete rubbish – no right minded person would ever clean a Land Rover. So by implication the use of the Springers for polishing was me digressing again. Honest!!


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