Joys of being out in the car with your Spin
I can’t remember the number of times I’ve
mentioned the Landy, the Spins and us all going out and
about for runnies somewhere or other (Remember –
Spins don’t do walkies)
was with this in mind and of course the joy it brings
to us all that I decided to provide you with another invaluable
illustrated guide to taking the Spin out for a Spin……..well
out in the car anyway.
is another one of those guides that will prove indispensable
for a number of reasons??
Choosing your next car that has the capacity to take a
Spin and family (Family optional)!!
2. Ease of cleaning the inside of said car
3. Things you will need for the journey
4. Cleaning the kids (where applicable) at the first stop
you come to
5. Window openings
6. What to do when you get near the drop off point for
7. Getting your Spin in the car in the first place
8. Back at home
I will, throughout this guide be covering all the above
along with little tips from the lessons we have learned.
the energy behind these notes is simply to provide you
with a sensible and Nonsense guide – sorry –
a NO nonsense guide for you to fully enjoy the experience
of showing the world you’re not afraid to take your
Spin out with you in the car.
let me begin!!!
Spin is a big dog.
you potentially need a big car, unless that is you want
to be up close and personal with it whilst travelling.
If you choose the up close and personal effect I would
go for a small car, and let’s face it there are
dozens to choose from especially with next to nothing
road tax, 334 miles to the gallon or 4 hours driving on
full charge (by the way, I would not recommend an electric
car because if your Spin chews through a power cable both
you and those on the road with you are going to be in
for one hell of a shock)!!
A fiat 500 or Panda, Ford Fiesta, Vauxhall Corsa, Peugeot
little thing, a Hyundai smaller thing or a VW Polo, maybe
a Kia midget thingy, or what about a Toyota Yaris………any
of these would be ideal if you and your Spin are close
friends!! Very close in fact…….
the way, forgot to tell you that IF and I stress IF you
do have a small car and a Spin then remember NOT to put
the Spin on the parcel shelf??
head will definitely NOT be nodding because it’s
broke the parcel shelf and fell onto the floor space below
and if the car has a really small space then it’s
also likely that it has become lodged and you’ll
need to call for assistance to dislodge it. Embarrassing…………
if your Spin is really clever you could even share the
driving – but? You may need to buy an automatic
for that experience because in a manual car they tend
to grind the gears when changing up or down, their paws
slip off the gear lever (told you this was full of useful
Now, similarly if you have a partner or wife or someone
else’s or both, or you might have a child or several
(they call the smaller carbon life forms, children) then
obviously you may go for a medium sized car and here again
there are dozens out there to choose from. These are like
small cars only bigger.
someone asked me ages ago what I used the Spin for, being
a HPR, I told them a small - and we’re talking small
- white lie
actually I polish the car with it” No no no –
ignore that, that’s me being silly. We use one of
the Springers for that…..
that’s easy, we of course don’t use it for
hunting or anything like that because of the UK laws on
ban the ban and hunt the ban and all that rubbish so in
order to ensure it is exercised thoroughly we have a seasonal
went on: “In the winter snow it pulls the kids on
their sledges back up the hill, for the adults we use
it to pull us up the same slope but on our ski’s,
much like a ski lift – then it all goes downhill
from there”!!!! “The Spin chases after us
and we repeat the exercise until one of us has”
Hit the tree we avoided earlier
Gone straight through the hedge at the bottom of the hill,
onto the road the other side and caused a major traffic
Run over the kid who didn’t get out of the way fast
Slammed into the side of the car which I knew when I parked
it, was a stupid place to put it - but convenient
Escaping from the irate parent of the kid I ran over earlier
the summer it pulls me along on my mountain bike or my
roller skates. But I should stress that I don’t
use the roller skates in the mountains – that’s
that’s not enough then we use the Spin to pull the
boat along when we’re out fishing as they are such
strong swimmers – we don’t do this very often
though as they tend to chew through their life vest and
it deflates rapidly and the River Police then prosecute
us for speeding…….”
at this point you might think I’ve digressed?? But
no……..not me, not this time.
the point of the above is the things you take with you
when you decide to go out with your Spin in the car. It’s
nothing to do with the above, I’m just changing
the subject. You need to allow space for these items,
and that brings me neatly to the BIG car…………..and
here again there are lots of them, especially, Estate
cars. Station Wagons and the like, mini bus things and
Dearest One wants me to get her a van!!! I choose to be
tortured and hung at dawn rather than be seen in a van.
I would have to be forced at gun point and then with a
paper bag over my head before I got in one of those. But
she said “Where do you keep the gun cartridges”?
“I could get ALL the Spins in one and still have
room for the Ski’s, sledge, boat etc”
got the cartridges out for her…………..
recognise as we all do that the cost of fueling these
cars is of course controlled by the Government to ease
the burden on the tax payer for the austerity measures
in place and in doing so we are all further contributing
to our ridiculous debt levels. Unless of course you’re
a bank and then going broke doesn’t matter as the
Government also use that fuel revenue to say “There
there Mr Bank....it will be alright, have zillions of
pounds and forget you were ever in a mess” “And
keep a bit in reserve for your bonuses” “You
Minor digression on behalf of The Very Cynical of the
Government Party…….Come the revolution brothers
big cars use fuel.
it’s a luxury and one that we must have, there’s
the shows (if applicable) field events, pointing, tracking,
hunting and retrieving (Jolly naughty but isn’t
that what their for) or just a companion and great for
you to get out and about and away from the idiot box (Television)
So either way, you want your Spin on walkabout with you,
and to mix it up a bit you choose to go away from the
same old path, you take them out in the car with you.
before I go any further there is one thing I want to cover
off – Travel sickness
Spins – not yours!!
I get travel sick when I’m out with The Dearest
One…..it’s her taste in music that does it.
The singing along to it is bloody awful as well, but her
taste in music would make a saint cry.
If I want to put a track of my music on, the CD is ejected,
held in the left hand and thrown out of the window (after
she’s opened it)
Dearest One as she’s known locally because some
of those CDs have hit pedestrians and sliced off a hand
or a leg as they whizzed through the air. If we’re
out together they put a double shift on at the local hospital.
you don’t want to know that….and anyway, I
got me some headphones now!!
only ever had one travel sick Spin and we learned how
to overcome that and not had a problem since.
didn’t take it out again!!!
confident you all have your own methods…..but in
the winter when you can’t roll down the window it’s
no fun is it?
when you do roll down the window you then have to compete
against a Spin that also wants to stick its head out of
the window. And that’s even less fun…and and
and…with The Dearest Ones music blaring out it is
tried following one of my CDs out the window once but
got stuck………and was duly punished severely
when she drove along the hedge!!!
let’s get serious……….
have always wanted to put in the Landy windows, along
the inside at the back, an A4 sheet taped to the window??
Italian Spinone’s in case you were wondering”
I know, but it helps if you stop at a place with lots
of people going “Oh aren’t they
sweet, what are they”??
slobber a lot don’t they”? “Can you
still see out the windows”?
have now standardised a reply: “Dogs, Italian, Spinone,
and we’ve only stopped to clean the bloody windows”
my notice on the rear side windows?? You’ve got
to admit it’s a good idea…….Me thinks
I will suggest that to the Dearest One. I’ll get
a prize I’m sure!!!!
forgotten where I was now………
have a look at the things you may wish to take with you
for your runabout with the Spins.
This list is of course generic and you will have your
own preferences, but if you’re new to the joyous
world of being owned by a Spin then it will help you along
your path to an enjoyable runnies……..
- Huge Rucksack
Clothing relative to season – and it’s a good
idea to take a change of clothes as well!!
Boots preferably waterproof – you’re bound
to end up in the water at some point
Pockets full of treats
Leads – I don’t know what for, but added this
by association – dogs = leads
Dog whistle (at some stage you won’t be able to
use your fingers)
Water….forget that, they’ll find water!!
Bedding for the car…..and make it comfortable otherwise
you’ll end up with them on your lap
Rear windows (slightly open) if you open a front window
– watch out because when you come to close it you’ll
throttle the dog!!
When you get close to your destination – they will
know as well, so keep as calm as you can otherwise they
will open the door before you’ve pulled up (Tip:
make sure the child locks are engaged)
Cleaning cloths – just you wait until they get back
Panadol or Paracetomol or similar for your bad headache
First Aid Kit. You should have one anyway, but you’ll
need one to cover your cuts and bruises
Training dummy, tennis balls, Frisbee, rubber duck and
or toys to suit. Make them cheap one’s as you won’t
see them again
Poo bags…..(toilet roll, panty liner and disinfectant)??
Read Freya’s Diary Week 33 and you’ll see
Sandwiches, 27 flasks of tea (Dearest One’s)
Compass, Swiss army knife, a torch, box of waterproof
matches, and a book? ‘Survival for Dummies’
If you have children with you? No one can help you………you’re
on your own!!!
than that you should have a good day out
you’re in a small car??
you are in a small car with your Spin then the chances
are you’ve got the dog on your lap whilst driving
because it’s the only way you can get all the rest
of the stuff in. And if the Spin is on your lap remember
to ensure you have an automatic car.
You’ll need to stop every 14 miles to clean the
inside of the windows so allow extra time in travelling
to cover this point off.
forget to wear your seatbelt – it’s a great
distraction for the dog who will settle down and start
to chew through it.
have an accident because the seat belt was rendered useless
earlier and knowing your luck during your transfer through
the windscreen the dog will land on you and get up from
the accident unharmed. This of course is academic if the
air bag has gone off because you’ll either be wearing
a nice curly coated suit or the dog will be wearing outdoor
clothes……….and the air bag?? Punctured
when the dog stuck its claws in it to prevent it hitting
advice – buy a medium sized car.
the insurance has finally paid out for the accident damage
to your small car and with the 37.50 you were finally
awarded you upgraded to a medium sized car.
luxury at last.
bought a dog guard for the back, rubber matting for the
floor and a nice soft bed for the dog to settle on when
out on the open road. The back seat is full of your bits
and pieces for the walkabout later on and somewhere under
all that you may have the children. The dog comes first,
off we go………….
dog settles down after a bit of scratching around early
on to get its bed comfortable, the guard is doing its
job. The slobber you’ve confined to the rear window
and rear side windows, the open window is allowing plenty
of airflow although it is blowing around all the dog hairs
and within a short time the car looks like it has pimpmobile
seat covers and the kids look a little chimp like……..Albino
and orange or brown and white in a roan kind of way.
the police stop you??
Sir/Madam but your brake lights are not working and we’re
concerned you can’t see out of the rear window”??
window appears to have a frosted look to it or the dog
has sat up and completely obliterated the vision out the
rear of the vehicle”
you investigate the rear light issue you discover said
dog has ripped out the wiring to the rear lights whilst
it was scratching to make its bed comfortable.
to worry, easily put back.
got to remember to take the bits of rubber matting back
to the shop and tell them where it can next be placed………for
environmental reasons of course.
so you arrive at your destination already worn out, you’ve
got a £50 fine to pay, the kids look prehistoric,
the car looks great on the outside but its clear the interior
has been at war. But the dog is eager to get out and go
on runnies…..so much so that it’s scratched
the paint off the inside of the rear door and the shiny
metal is a nice touch underneath.
You let it out and whoosh……………gone!!!!!
next and…………..”Can we stay
here in the car it’s cold/raining/I’ve just
to kill off this alien army on my Nintendo/why’s
the dog jumped on that old lady with the sandwiches”?
so far so good……….
get home, kids exit to house, you empty car, you call
in experts to clean the interior, you fall asleep waiting
for the potatoes to boil – you’re exhausted.
All that country air and running after the dog has worn
you out. And its work again tomorrow…
the dog? Spark out on the couch – your couch!!!!
you trade in the medium sized car for a BIG car……..good
for you. You did not give in, you took it on and now with
the full sized dog cage in the back with solid titanium
floor and curtains, runnies with the dog is going to be
academic you can’t see out of the rear window because
the curtains are drawn, but who cares. The wiring is safe,
the windows are clean and the dog has settled. Sure is
quiet back there…Bliss
arrive at the appointed play ground for all things exercise
and get out of the car to change into full combat gear.
The kids actually want to do this……..the excitement
to the rear of the car you go armed with collar and lead,
a treat for the dog awaits in the other hand.
open the rear door……..pull back the curtains
– and nothing. No dog, no mess just a void where
there should have been a dog.
phone home and the dog answers (yawning) – you’ve
woke it up and got it off your couch just to find out
where it was?? Pathetic……
blame everyone and everything………..life
used to be the same?
the Dearest One created a very clever plan??
Urn or flasks
know about you but when we go out and drive through a
local town or village and we’ve got the Spins in
the back of the Landy and one or two or seven have got
their heads out of the windows, people stop and stare?
Well alright then they do at us……….
can hear them as we drive slowly through (bloody speed
hide the kids it’s that couple with those lunatic
dogs” or “Quick hide the food it’s those
idiots with their marauding pack of dogs”
heard things like “Run for your lives” and
“Run for the Hills they might stop and get the dogs
out and go shopping – for our food”
are not so polite “Clear off you loonies and take
those Curly Haired Golden Labradoodles with you –
except the brown one” “The black sheep of
no fun sometimes and some of the locals now carry tranquilizer
guns with them. The dogs are fine it’s us they’re
after – I blame the Dearest One. Told her to just
keep the one……..but oh no not her? Had to
go and get seven of them……..and now we have
no friends and are on wanted posters all over town.
an attraction they are and of course our good old Landy
takes them all in its stride. We don’t but the Landy
us, when it gets filthy inside and out we hose it down
and literally wash out the interior – because you
can with one of them. When I say we, I mean the Dearest
One because apparently I don’t clean it well enough
so I end up being the tea boy.
The Dearest One cleans the Landy the Springers are cowering
under the sink or have hidden under the Spins because
they know that one of them will end up being used to polish
the Landy with, but don’t tell the RSPCA……!!!
It’s our little secret
let’s summarise for you if you’re taking the
Spin out in the car with you, whether it’s a walk
round town, a walk in the park (Avoid parks in the summer?
Too many picnickers and all those sandwiches)!!! A blast
through the woods and wilds of the Country – assuming
of course it’s not all been developed, the beach
(where the Councils haven’t banned dogs –
and if they have? Ignore it but don’t get caught)!!
And if you do get caught?
“The dog ran off and I was trying to get it back”
“Where do I live”?? “Oh near Bullshctty”
“Yes I know it is 53 miles from here and that explains
why I look so haggard and worn out, that’s a long
run from there you know”
“But I don’t want to come with you, I don’t
know you and that uniform is going to fool no one”
“Get off the nice man Gilbert he doesn’t want
his uniform covered in your dog hairs”
“Well, better be going now, it’s a long way
“Should just get back to change for work”
appear to have digressed again
appropriate bits and pieces with you as listed above and
make sure you are in control of your dog all the time
especially when it’s off the lead, which is bit
like saying all MPs are truthful and honest all the time
and their expenses are all legitimate and that they only
have the interests of their constituents when addressing
matters in the House of Commons.
the Spins are great fun to take out and we’ve always
found an excuse regardless to get out and enjoy not just
being out and about but also having a damned good time
We’ve had friends round and when they bore us we
just show them where the tea things are and a packet of
biscuits (the one’s we don’t like) and off
we go with the dogs.
we don’t have any friends………which
is good!! The dogs and us are well exercised!!!
Another vital tip for you and I hope you appreciate it!!!!!
I hope this has proved useful to you and watch out for
more guides in the future!!
the light nights now so get out there and enjoy your time
with the Spin…..or plural
thinking of writing a “Spinones for Dummies”!!!!
Keep an eye on the website and be the first to get your
copy. Or buy a dog!!!
it for this session, take care, drive safely and with
consideration to the Spin or Spins in the back –
buggar other road users as they haven’t got such
a precious cargo as you………..
a Spin owner, therefore I am”
on that Philosophical note……….Good bye
No Springers were hurt during the cleaning of the Landy
as we only use environmentally friendly polish. Which
is of course complete rubbish – no right minded
person would ever clean a Land Rover. So by implication
the use of the Springers for polishing was me digressing