Bonjour peeps

And yes I’m fine and well and growing up, as you do. The gorgeousness of being French grows with me every day and it is something those Italians can only look in envy at…..

I’m well fed and watered and for these adventures – which they were, brings me neatly to the theme of this chapter. Food and water

But first peeps – there’s this?

I was sat contemplating life, the universe and the English language the other day and taking time out to reflect……now as I’ve no idea what I’m talking about or at the moment even thinking about, I heard the dulcid tones of the Dreariest One in the background. “Where’s my leetle President Hollande then”?

I tell you peeps, they ought to bring back the guillotine for that woman……..sometimes…….just sometimes she really does push it.

WE – me and some of the Spins were going out?

Now this should be a laugh I thought to myself as I prepared to go into the standard ‘I’m French and gorgeous’ mode – whilst the Italians just looked the same?? A mixture of fashion and hurricane Katrina in the same room. How on urf those things win shows is completely beyond me….just wait till they see me?? Oh yea Baby……………

They’ll be playing ‘La Marseillaise’ when I strut my stuff in the ring

Now where was I – oh yes, my ego. But that’s another story!!

So the Dreariest One did a roll call of who was going and of course my name was first!! The door was opened and “Aarrgghh……what the hell is this thing”?

No Landee!!!!!

And in its place was this cherry coloured thing. I looked at the Spins (and that’s rare enough) they looked at me (even rarer) and between us we must have all been thinking the same thing?
No way will we all get in there. We ran up the drive, down the drive and into the garden and still no Landee. We went down to the gate, no Landee

We then charged back up to the house where the cherry thing was and saw the opening into it. One by One we got in and much to our astonishment it was massive inside. Comfortable and certainly not what we expected.
We set off and went zooming past ‘that’ vet’s place (didn’t see any ducks)!! On through Aberaeron and along the coast road.

Oh God now where are we going I thought to myself? Some of the Spins were with me so a vet visit was out, no toys, so a playground was out. BUT, she had brought the leads so something was in?

But what?

We turned off the main road and drove down this little lane for what seemed like an eternity.

What’s an eternity? Is it edible?

Then she stopped in the middle of nowhere sensible as far as I could tell. She got out, came around to the back of ‘the thing’ with leads in hand and hooked us up??

I was helped down out the back because I’m French and didn’t want to ruffle my coat as I needed to look my best – it’s a French thing – you wouldn’t understand, whilst the Spins just stepped down on their own. Typical Italians you know just want to show their legs off as they exit from ‘the thing’.

The smell outside was different. It intrigued me (is there an out trigue)? Just asking!!

Anyway, we dragged the Dreariest One off down this lane towards ‘the smell’ – very atmospheric it was. Like this story really – atmospheric – oh come on, I’m setting the scene for you, be patient. And onwards towards…………….




“Good grief peeps, it was massive and we’re talking huge as in bigger than a big thing that was wet”

This was the pond to end all ponds and it had a little bit of attitude……read on!!!

Now at this point it is worth mentioning that the Dreariest One had wellies on!!

We walked or rather dragged our lead master down this path to what I now know is called a beach. And I now know what sand is!!

At the bottom of the path and ‘on the beach’ we were let off our leads and literally free to go, and go we did.

WOW……..this is just the dogs’ pods…..superb. Manifique……..

Me and Kallie headed down to the big pond which involved a gentle trot across some rocks. I felt like the French explorer Jacques Cousteau….now that man had style, was very smart and very much a big pond man – just like Claude Barbet.

I will go down in history peeps……..just you see!!! Or sea……..clever eh…..non!!!

It wasn’t long before Kallie and the great French adventurer Claude Barbet had reached the sand – and the sea!! Now I understood the watery bit, but when I looked out across the pond, I saw no ships!! Sorry……..actually, I saw nothing. This really was the ponds of ponds. At home I get in one side and out the other. Not so sure that is possible here

Now guess what?

I can now see why the Spin has long legs? Because for me to go in to the sea as deep as them I would have to drown…..or swim. But instinct and courage for Claudy poo’s (did I just say that) knows no bounds and it wasn’t long before I had to take the plunge!!

I thought (being French and intelligent) I would show the Spins that we French are not afraid of anything and near to where we were was Le River!!

The Dreariest One (now my hero) and back to being the Dearest One was up by the river and so I had the ideal opportunity to show off le courage and simply cross the river to the other side!!


Oh Bloody hell it was cold…….

It was freezing my bits off…..

But despite the agony and for the love of France I persevered and overcame my pain to actually enjoy it…..a lot

I had to dig deep but with dignity and pride and with both the Dearest One and the Spins looking at me I stepped forth and marched my way across that river. I had to resort to a little swimming in the middle and despite the current trying to pull me down and the dread of being washed out to sea, I finally made it to the other side and the sanctuary of discovering that I had got disorientated and ended back up where I started and had to do it all again. Oh how they laughed!!

Wet Claude……but dry brain? Claude had learned

After the exploits of the river I decided it was time to explore the beach a little closer and noticed (as you do) that it did appear to be a bit of a food source?

And I like food and being French we are famous for our cuisine – is there no end to my talent?

Digression time!!!

The big pond had waves – not as gorgeous as my waves that I’m growing of course, but nevertheless there are waves associated to the pond. Now these are little waves at the water’s edge and as you go further out these waves are slightly bigger. Now most humans already know this of course – except it seems, just one….The Dumbest One!!!! Durrrrrrrrr

Now the Dumbest One had gone for a gentle “paddle” I think you call it and in her wellies. No problem with that you might think. And there wasn’t……until it was time to take another photo of me. I’m French, I’m gorgeous and just love having my picture taken. A sort of canine Brigitte Barbot in a masculine puppy kind of way. But strike a pose I can – and did. Or rather was going to??

The Dumbest One called me over and told me to stand in front of her, and so I did. It was then I noticed a wave….not a big wave, but a wave that even I knew was slightly bigger than me.
And her wellies!!!

I pointed to said wave and she ignored me, happily snapping away at my gorgeousness, until the wave hit her.

Now I’m not sure what language she used because I was not familiar with it, but she did not appear to be amused. I was, and had to clear off before I laughed my paws off.

Back to the food source…..come on come on, it’s not that difficult – keep up

After I had gone off to explore a potential food source and the Dumbest One had gone off to sit on the rocks and empty her wellies, I ventured down to the sea where it was just coming ashore (God my Eeenglish improves with every passing week)

And suddenly I came across this slimy slippery stuff……later on the Drying out one told me it was sea weed and I said “I saw it first and its mine”

Oh forget it – I thought you might appreciate a funny comment as this has been such a traumatic read for you all, what with me going backwards in the river and pointing out mini tsunami’s to the drying out one.

I never bothered with the sea weed as it wasn’t really what I fancied for supper…..and so off I went in search of something more edible and filling.

I had this brain wave (That’s like a sea wave only its mine) that if I had a dig round in the sand and maybe venture into the sea a little I might be able to find a little morsel of food. Well you never know do you……it’s a sort of rock pooling for doggies!!

I went in between the rock pools, the river and the beach as I thought this was an area that could well produce some form of success. Instinct didn’t come into it and neither did smell. Well ok then, you try sniffing with your nose under the water!! Go on I dare you……

I persevered and felt lucky as I guess we were all having a great runnies out – hey and I forgot to mention??

The legs…….work a treat. Brilliant and rah rah to the vet for that jab!!! But if I only had one jab and my legs appeared what the hell did the Spins have?? Mr. Franken Spinstein – Veterinary Surgeon extraordinaire!!

No, hang on a minute? They’ve had cosmetic surgery haven’t they? Those legs are implants aren’t they??

I forgot what I was on about now……oh yea…my supper

“EUREKA” yea I know it’s not French but it fits this bit…..

It just wasn’t his day was it? I mean there he was all sideways walk and showing off his big claws and who comes along to ruin his day?

You got it – Claude Barbet.

And tonight I’m having crab with garlic and herb sauce served with a little white wine…..yummy

And yes, I got me a crab………

Claude the victorious……..

Claude 1 – Claws 0

Anyway, that’s it for these adventures and I’m sure you’ll agree they really were some adventures.

We all had a great time except the drying out one…..!!

Just before we got our leads put back on I took one last look at the beach, the big pond and the river in the distance, I was tired and hungry but had my crab supper to look forward to. The wellies would soon dry out and so would I. And peeps I learned later on that all this is to get me used to the water? I’m going gun dog training soon and will of course let you know how I get on!!

Crab today, duck tomorrow……..bring it on

That’s it from me for this time…….

Oh yes……’The thing’? It’s really good and is called a Subaru. A new word for me and a new adventure every time we go out in it… I guess it’s also Au revoir le Landee and Bonjours all round to the Subaru!!

Au revoir and take care out there

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