WEEK TWENTY ONE

 

The Missing Biscuit Tin

Episode 1

 

Following the success of Freya at her first show in Edinburger in which she secured a second place, we head back home and to her now infamous hobby of hunting……………

For food!!!

A hunting trip for Freya is a simple affair – hunt down the food and in this case where the Dearest One has left the biscuit tin, retrieval is then eating what she finds. The ACTUAL retrieve is then the actual biscuit tin – empty!!

Freya was outside helping the Dearest One clear the yard of fallen leaves when the call of the bucket of tea was too much for her and the Dearest One went inside to a) make a tea and
b) give out the biscuits treats to the rest the gang who were also outside with her. Freya of course stayed outside to sweep up, that was until she heard the biscuit tin rattling……….

Taking to higher ground to try and get a look see through the window this was the start of her biscuit tin hunt…….

That was it!!!

The hunt was on, if the others were getting treats then so would Freya and enlisting the help of our resident JCB – er…..sorry, the Viszla, Freya goes out in search of the elusive biscuit tin. The Viz was instructed to start digging up the bottom half of the garden with the bush being a bit of a false lead……..

She searched high and low and even in the hedge bank, but all to no avail……..

As the frustration grew minute by minute it was obvious that Freya now had a problem? That biscuit tin was now the only thing on her mind and anything and everything was coming under suspicion of taking her biscuit tin away.

Suddenly and from high above came a loud shriek!!!! (Gasp of Horror)

The hairs on the back of Freya’s neck stood up and in fear of her life she spun around and looked up………….Nothing………..”What the hell was that”?

Calming herself down she composed herself, focused and looked towards the fence on the far side of the garden…………could this be the REAL Thief……Shrieking at her, Taunting her and teasing her?

Here’s looking at you kid……. looking at me!!

“Oh it’s him again”? “Bob Buzzard”…….our resident in the woods. Bob is a regular visitor when we have the dogs out as they tend to get things on the move that are all things ground based and Bob is usually around, hovering above watching and waiting. Nothing is safe once he’s about and although a Carrion feeder they will kill when required to do so.

Not so long ago it was his neighbours the Red Kites that worried the Dearest One when the puppies were in the ménage and they were hovering (loitering with intent as the Dearest One put it)

They of course wouldn’t come within a mile of the pups while there were humans about!! But I wouldn’t leave one out!!

But this was Bob’s day out……..but would Bob take the Biscuit tin??

Freya pondered this thought for a nanosecond and deduced he wouldn’t? It was not of the fur or feather variety. And anyway, how the hell would he get the lid off…..although with those talons he wouldn’t need to? He would just tear it apart……….so Bob was ticked off the potential offenders list

The search continued throughout the day and Freya would not give in. The rest of the gang were either asleep, or just probably looking at her and thinking she had lost the plot!!

Dry biscuits or even soggy one’s were not an issue to her because at the end of the day a biscuit is a biscuit…….and in search of the less obvious soggy biscuits, she decided to start her search of the little pond, normally reserved for our frogs and newts……could they have had the biscuit tin?

And now, even I am believing that Freya and the plot have parted company…………..

Well folks, that’s it for this week’s diary.

Don’t miss the next exciting episode of Freya and the missing biscuit tin……….

Will Freya finally succeed?? (I doubt it, because only budgies suckseed)

Will her energy levels see her through to getting them reinvigorated from the contents of the biscuit tin? Or………..

Will the Dearest One come under suspicion?

Same time, same channel, same ridiculous website…………

Now where did I leave that plot?

 


WEEK TWENTY THREE

The Missing Biscuit Tin

Episode 2

It has not been Freya’s ideal week?


Let’s have a quick summary of where it all started. The biscuit tin went missing and it contained her snacks!!!!! That’ll do and I’m sure you’ll pick it up from that.........?

For Freya the search started with the Viz as her right hand man as it were. Not stupid our Freya. The Viz is the JCB of our family and he spends endless hours outside in and around our house digging for moles – which to him must smell like beef or lamb or even a roast chicken. And so he meanders across garden, ménage and fields looking for the ever elusive mole.

On the other hand Freya has seen the size of a mole hole and is utterly convinced you can drag a biscuit tin down into those holes never to be seen again. On the other side of the coin she also knows that she is the alpha female above the Viz (I am a Spinone, therefore I am) and IF the Viz was to find the missing biscuit tin then the tin would be his. Finder’s keepers.............BUT the contents would be hers!!!!!!!!!!

But the Viz being the Viz of course was useless and eventually Freya gave up with him..........



And so it was that Freya turned her attention to the park walk and the beach. Well she was rapidly running out of ideas and so no stone was left unturned in looking for that damned biscuit tin. The walk through the park took her again to the pond but the pebble beach area proved a good tracking opportunity and with determination off she went to continue on the trail.


Would nothing stop the intrepid Freya?



Well actually YES, there was something that was a bit of a showstopper? The pond............

And the problem is the fact that you can’t smell underwater and leaping in and out of the pond gets you only one thing – wet and exhausted!! The theory only Freya knows about and to the onlooker it was obvious she hadn’t got a bloody clue what she was doing and to Freya it was also obvious that she was making a fool of herself as well.


So she gave up on this as well and moved on to the beach. Now this is a nightmare for her? A zillion acres of sand and the tide was coming in.......

But the beach was getting close to her target of finding that missing biscuit tin. Could this be the happy ending we’re all hoping for? First it was a dead fish she found, but no biscuit tin. Then it was a dried out jelly fish but that just wobbled in her jaw and fell apart........made me laugh, but still no biscuit tin. Then endless pieces of driftwood........crunchy but not biscuity

Then there was the seaweed, useless stuff and no fun at all. She tested empty plastic bottles, rope, in fact all sorts of flotsam and jetsum. But no biscuit tin!!!!!


It was all looking so glum and sad. With all the will in the world Freya had worked her little feet off searching high and low for what seemed like a biscuit tin that would never be found and in fact simply did not want to be found.

And so for Freya it was a long slow walk back from the beach, through the woodland along the paths and finally back to the car park and the sanctuary of the Land Rover. Disheartened, upset at her failure and despite the setbacks along the way she felt good at giving the search a 100% of all her abilities, the scenting, the stamina to continue where others would have given in. She thought about thanking the Viz and the rest of the gang for their help. She had all her speeches lined up and then to retire having known she’d given it her all – and all for nothing.

She jumped into the back of the Landy, shuffled the bedding around and???

Hang on, what’s that? A lump in the bedding, a rattle, a clunk – and then...........the unmistakable smell of biscuits.

After all that she’d been through that biscuit tin had been in the Landy all the time and was the last place she would ever think of looking. And now having NOT looked for the biscuit tin – she had found it!!

And the contents?? No prizes for guessing where they are??


Oh God I’m reduced to tears, I love happy endings..........
I can’t take anymore and have run out of tissues now. Have to go out and get some more....

 

 


WEEK TWENTY FIVE

 

I’m going to start off this week by hoping you all had a splendid Christmas and intend to have a Happy and Healthy 2012.

And unusually I’m also going to start this diary entry with a couple of Freya’s Brothers. And why is that? I hear you ask………..it’s all because our Freya is in disgrace and I’m making a stand against her, to show her that she is a disgrace to the Awelymor name.

The Dearest One has forgiven her as it was her first Christmas and being so young blah blah blah…oh but the embarrassment of it all.

But before all that………there’s this…………….

This is Lord Alfie of Kent.

Following a sumptuous Christmas meal we see below Lord Alfie settling down in HIS chair that he’s taken over from his owners. They of course like the rest of us had no choice!!!
Lord Alfie (believe it or not) is currently graduating in an honours degree out in the field with the gun. Yes he’s going to be used as per his ancestry – a gun dog!!

Now before you go running to the PRSCA or whatever they are called I can confirm that he will NOT be trained to use the gun (although it is a Spin and I bet if they could they would shoot and his owner runs off on command to retrieve)!! Nor is he going to be the reloader – “Oi, pass me the Holland and Holland will you boy”……no sorry, digressed again.

Anyway, just out of shot (no pun intended) is Lord Alfie’s glass of Sloe gin and his cigar. A hamlet I believe (cue the music)

Now closer to home is Bertie………Now Bertie has also got the ideal life. Lovely owners, lots of land to play in, good food and of course being so young he has his moments!!!

Now here below is perfection himself……..Bertie the proud. And don’t we look regal and oh so refined for this photo……

 

OH BUT HOW LOOKS DECEIVE??

Imagine the horror then that not long after this photo was taken Bertie the Spin Devil, combined to wreak havoc in the mud. No longer Bertie the proud, no longer the regal smugness and and and I should imagine no diving into the living room to launch himself onto that nice warm and very clean couch either!!!!!

Enter stage left (Drum roll) Ladies and Gentlemen…………It’s Dirty Bertie……………

Doesn’t look so proud now does he?

Still, not so bad I guess……..hose him down, dry him off and by tomorrow all will be back to normal……….

A thought for you all?

Owing a Spin or two – just exactly what is normal?? (No prizes)!!

And so to Freya………

I have deliberately put Lord Alfie of Kent and Dirty Bertie first because this next bit’s embarrassing?? Those two above are angels compared to HER………..(Freya you understand – not the Dearest One)

It all started one sunny miserable rainy, windy morning around Christmas when Freya who is used to big scale humans, well, humans over 5 foot, came across Santa who had sneaked into the living room (as he does) to lay presents at the base of the tree.

Freya expecting some big guy in a daft uniform to come hurtling through the skies and crashing into the living room was beside herself with disappointment. All that gnashing and barking and all she ended up with to scare off, was………….HIM – the look says it all

Imagine the bubble above her head “oh please………..put a kid on your lap and it would be twice the size of you, you sure you’re not an elf with delusions of grandeur, some twisted alter ego………God you’re a sad little man”

“Anyway, what you got for me”??? (Typical bloody spin)

But the following day all was back to normal and Santa had left Freya a Present to open……brilliant all’s well that ends well!!! Or not……

Santa being a bit of an idiot and mistaking Freya for a reindeer or equivalent had bought her (wait for it)…………….a bottle of wine!!!!!!!!

Oh she was so thrilled, and never having had wine before decided to go for it, big time and before breakfast!!!

And now you see why the embarrassment!!

We got her up and decided to take drastic measures to sober her up?

FOOD………I took her into the kitchen and introduced her to some naked bird?? The Turkey.

It was working, and although a little undercooked at this point it had planted the seeds that once cooked it was to be prime target…….(I know don’t tell me…….Turkey is too rich for the little dears……nur nur nee nur nur)

Next was the runnies (remember walkies is not good enough for a Spin)

And anyway we needed a breath of fresh gale force winds!!

And combining that with taking a few of them out to the local beach this was bound to be a winner and Freya (she of the disgrace moment) would be sober in no time.

And here starts another story, and in summary it goes like this…………

I took to the beach JJ’s training dummy to retrieve. I could throw this into the wind and it wouldn’t come back and hit me in the mouth as the Frisbee did once (if you’re following the bankers notes) However, I had with me she of the disgrace moment and Mia. Yes Mia. Of you throw something and she gets it – its game over.

But I did not account for Freya who at the third attempt finally beat JJ to the dummy and all hell broke loose.

JJ gave up, I gave up and let those 2 idiots fight it out……or rather pant it out.

Freya being young and fast, Mia being older and equally as fast!!!!


“Come here with that dummy you dummy”

I think it was Boxing Day by the time I got the thing off them. And so after a hearty meal it was cracker time and treats and prizes for all…………including the now sober and tired out Freya (bless her)!!!!!!!

And so that was it for 2011……….and now for 2012……..bring it on.

Oh. It is 2012……….better get on with it then. Until next time……….take care and keep warm

 

PS: No Spins were shot, hosed down or drunk during the making of this diary entry. So you don’t need to call the ARSPC now do you!!!!!!
(I’m sure there’s an anagram in there somewhere)!!


WEEK TWENTY SEVEN

 

I’ve chosen a theme for this diary entry and of course it involves lots of photos of Freya or to be more precise, Freya on the beach photos.

During the winter as highlighted in the Bankers Notes a while back we have the beach all to ourselves during the winter – or rather we have 2 beaches all to ourselves during the winter. Both offer very long walks and both with plenty of beached toys to find and play with. The beaches are separated by a river and to one side you have a splendid walk into the beautiful seaside town of New Quay, whilst to the other side you have an equally splendid walk………….it goes on for miles and you’re only problem with the walk this side is the tide?

If you walk past the cliffs and get the tide timings wrong…………it’s a Coastguard job!!!

But we’re dealing with the Dearest One here?

Tide timings?? Not an issue, because the smartest of the smart purchased a little book for a pound listing by day, week, month all the timings of the tides. Clever Dearest One!!

There are a couple of good parking areas and the beaches are easily accessible….if you’ve not got a herd of Spins with you!!! Now I’m currently travelling again and therefore these little soirée’s onto the beach have been with the Dearest One and on the odd occasion she has teamed up with other like minded souls and ventured forth into the wilderness!!

So by rotating the Spins around on various days she has ensured that they all get to enjoy runnies. She normally takes around 5 or 6 at a time and considering I can’t control 2 of them at a time then taking this amount is nothing short of a miracle – because she has to bring them back again as well – obviously!!!!!

Just how does she do it?? I hear you ask……….(well not exactly ask but you know what I mean)

Well, I will tell you.

Let’s go back to Christmas (let’s not, but this is for reference)

The Dearest One is now the proud owner of (wait for it) a Food blender……..this for me of course was a mistake because I was told it was for creating such culinary delights as liver cake for the dogs!!!!

Of course it is…….I bought a bloody food blender for the dogs!!

After the first couple of weeks when all I was allowed to eat/drink/suck through a straw were the Dearest One’s cocktails – Breakfast lunch and dinner!!

- Orange, pineapple and banana (those kept me frequent)!!
- Potato leak and onion soup
- Apple, blackcurrant and lime
- Minced beef and onion soup
- Carrot and orange juice
- Minced something or other, that I used to re-concrete potholes in the yard with
- A puree that nearly choked me to death it was so thick

You get the picture…….

It was on one of these experimental moments that thankfully one of her friends sent her a recipe for liver cake for the dogs. I was so grateful I cleared off to the chip shop and was sick on everything edible in there. Solids at long last…………

Anyway, said liver cake was a massive success with the dogs, so much so that we could have had them doing synchronized swimming as a team they loved it that much
.
She would get the blender out, Freya would fetch the oats from the cupboard, Kallie would open the fridge and get the liver out for her. JJ turned on the oven, Savanna volunteered to wash up, Duncan took the rubbish to the bin, Mia and Unica fell asleep.

Such a joy to watch………..until it came out the oven!!!

But today, take the dogs out with that lot in a bag, in your pocket and instant obedience (ish)

So let’s have a look at random photographs of Freya playing on the beach…………and the theme for this week is:

Retrieve it, even if it doesn’t want retrieving!!!!


WEEK TWENTY NINE

 

It amazes me how time moves so quickly at the same pace!!

It’s February already, but then January went as slowly as it seems to every year………

And now what is this idiot on about? Where’s this going you wonder?

Well of course I will tell you. Freya’s nine months old now and good grief, don’t kids grow up so fast nowadays!!!! Oh bless them when they were so young and innocent and now look at them blah blah blah!!!!!

Well embarrassment of embarrassments………El Dearest One showed me this picture of Freya and her two half siblings – whatever a half sibling is and I got it wrong!!

I thought Freya was on the right and she’s not…..she’s in the middle of this photo. You would think for someone so incredibly intelligent (me) you would think I could tell our dog from another owner’s dog and so Mr Incredibly Intelligent is reduced to eat humble pie…….have a look yourself and see what I mean.

Now in the next picture I want you to notice the white picket fencing and how well it’s been constructed…….no I don’t.

Just look at the concentration as they steady there offerings for the judge. Look at the intensity of the moment, you can sense the nerves. You can feel the atmosphere of tension as the result gets closer…………

The judge gave Asca 2nd place but poor Freya was left to trudge out of the ring, she was still a happy girl though as she got a piece or two of liver cake. A few kind words and I’m sure she’ll be back to be judged another day.

But you’ve got to admit that’s a striking photo of the sheer excitement of the show ring, it captures the moment so beautifully……….or………maybe it doesn’t!!! you choose……….

 

There are lots of photos of Freya in all sorts of situations and at times in all sorts of a mess. Over this past nine months we have watched her grow and mature – or immature sometimes, she has developed her own style and her own traits as indeed they all do of course.

There’s pictures of her on the beach, in the woods, fields and so on and the theme or rather one of her traits is that of annoying the others……whether its stealing the ball or training dummy off one of them (usually JJ) or whether it’s just wanting to play, who knows what goes on in that head?

Another typical example is this picture of her being one side of the fence and Unica being on the other. Who wants to be which side??

Nothing else was involved, no ball, no training dummy, no food, nothing. But even so, Freya had to get the attention of Unica and annoy the hell out of her – because she could.

And that fence is not candy coated!!! But you just know what Unica is thinking…..”When I chew through this and get out/in, I’m going to chew your head off” – but until then………..

It’s the same as this picture……………….

What has she seen?

What is she so concentrated on that has her focus fully fixed and clearly ready to point at and tread on whatever it is. There’s a picture in the gallery when she was a puppy, similar to this one. In that earlier photo I swear it was an ant, so now she’s bigger I suppose it must a big ant!!!!! A very big ant.

But I reckon it’s a great shot of something that has really got her attention. (It sure as hell won’t be the Dearest One – not unless there’s food involved!!)

And finally to this………….

I’m going to leave you with this thought………..it’s also a warning!!!!!!

Research in Motion (RIM) – heard of them??

They’re the Canadian based company that designed and produce the Blackberry.

RIM only produce ONE version?? And that version is for us Humanoids.

It is not for dogs………..

The one below is – sorry was – The Dearest One’s. Now this Ex Blackberry was permanently glued to the Dearest Ones hand. It NEVER left her side, pocket, hand, or bag.

You know the thing. ‘I have a Blackberry, therefore I am’

But, the Dearest One put it down once (probably to make a cup of tea) at some point it bleeped, rang or whatever Blackberries do and if you haven’t already guessed – Freya answered it!!!

Then went on to chew it to death.

The replacement model was delivered a couple of days later much to the relief of The Dearest One. She was totally speechless during the interim period. It has NEVER been so quiet during those two days………..

I have contacted the Guinness book of records to see if this quietness was a record!!!!!!

Thought for you?? I wonder if RIM do a Blackberry covered in thorns……….???

 


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