the most part, dogs are hardy creatures and hardly ever
fall sick. Unlike us!!!
don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs,
or eat fast food.
exercise a lot and of course have a regular diet that
we control. OK, so we occasionally spoil them. Some more
than others……….but mostly they have
a great life with no excess.
what’s wrong with this picture??
have we got so many ailments that bring us to our knees,
we go to hospital, we have doctors and specialists to
see to our every need.
travel a lot and it fascinates me that wherever I am there
is always something that I have to be aware of. I think
over the years I’ve had every inoculation that can
be had. And even these won’t stop you getting something
if you’re unlucky.
I’ve been unlucky a few times, fortunately nothing
serious, unfortunately at the time, it’s been very
water, the food, don’t go jogging here or there,
don’t go to this part of town, don’t take
this type of taxi, don’t do this that and the other
and always carry your GPS tracker with you!! And
a nice trip”!!!!!!!
A couple of years ago the Dearest One and I met at Heathrow
Airport and we travelled down to South Beach, Miami. I
was going to a conference and the Dearest One was coming
with me for a holiday. As a fan of CSI Miami (Horatio
in particular) the series is filmed in and around South
Beach and Star Island and we were staying in a Hotel on
the main beach. So she was sure to see Horatio and that
customs and walking out the airport the first thing we
saw was a couple of cops in a parked up Miami Dade cop
was all it needed!!!!!!
Horatio”? “Where’s the Hummer”?
God……….” I sighed
had a free day and the Dearest One had seen an advert
for a Cowboy shop slightly out of town and decided it
would be great to go there and………..look
got in a taxi, told the driver where we wanted to go.
we got there
out of the blue the taxi driver said to us “I will
wait here for you, this area is very dangerous and you
stick out like brightly lit tourists, you’re not
safe, so don’t leave the store and walkabout anywhere.
I will wait for you”!!!!!!!
we got out the taxi and went into the store – amazing
place. Truly amazing
what seemed like ages, we walked out, got in the cab and
went back to town. I asked the taxi driver to drop us
off in Biscayne as we could ‘safely’ walk
back to the hotel from there. We ate lunch, took piccies,
had a laugh with the locals and before walking back we
had a hot dog each. Superb.
number one. If you venture off the path – ask before
first week was taken up with my conference, but the second
week was all ours to enjoy and we had a plan to visit
friends up near the Georgia border state line and we hired
a car and drove up there.
number 2: If your friend says it’s only a 4 hour
drive – ignore it? It took us 10!!!!!!
went through the Everglades and encountered very closely,
almost eye to eye, real Crocodiles – in the wild
(and I have the piccies to prove it) too bloody close
no get closer, I want a close up of them”
are insured aren’t you”?
got to our friends ranch and encountered a spider. A BIG
spider. We both did a runner – our host called us
won’t kill this one” our host said?
lives under the fridge and any mouse or vermin he tidies
up for us”!!!!!!
VERMIN”? “What the hell is it” I asked.
“Oh just a spider”
don’t touch it” “The bite is very nasty”
Dearest One was clinging onto the ceiling and we had to
call in an FBI negotiator to get her down……….
suppose in the spring it moves the fridge out to clean
its area” I asked
“Not quite but they are powerful, he couldn’t
move the fridge, but you would not want to be a mouse”
did not sleep well that evening.
day or so later we were out around the house/farm yard
vicinity close to the house and I was wandering around
host came up to me and said “Don’t sit on
the straw bales without looking first”? “Don’t
move the feed sacks” Don’t move the rocks
and why’s that” I asked
– “and they ain’t friendly and most
are venomous” “The one’s with a ‘V’
on the back of the head particularly dangerous”
“and the one’s with a yellow dot on the head
give a nasty bite”
how close do you have to be to spot the dot”? I
don’t worry” he said “You’ll get
used to it”!!!!!!
that we wore boots and stood in the open.
was much that would do us harm given the chance.
they had a dog. A 4 month old puppy called Samson
was an Anatolian.
for both of us remains the most amazing dog we have ever
met. He was used EXACTLY as they were intended for. Guard
the house, the animals (they had horses and a huge herd
of cattle) Samson guarded the house and the horses
Bankers notes are NOT about our trip to Miami, nor about
our encounters, indeed they are not about Samson either………
for the record, The Dearest One has never forgotten Samson,
neither have I?
all my life (indeed The Dearest One’s as well) we
have not seen such an amazing natural instinct in a dog
to do what Samson did. His job even at just a few months
old was to guard the house and animals around it. And
at his tender young age if we had been out of a night
and driven back to the ranch we were not allowed out of
our hosts big 4WD until he had opened the main gate and
driven in and up to the house. Only then were we safe!!
in the day when we were walking around the place, Samson
was always shadowing us.
The Dearest One got to stroke him and sit with him –
but only on his terms.
today, this remains the best use of a dog that I have
ever seen. He did exactly what he was intended for. It
really was staggering.
would never come into the house, he had ample food left
out for him and lots of water. But his place was outside
– his choice.
was his domain, his kingdom and he patrolled it with staggering
and at times breathtaking ability. Samson knew exactly
where we were even if the 4 of us had split up and went
in different directions.
would always be somewhere in the middle.
you left the gate open to the ranch, he would keep an
eye on that as well. Until you closed it!!!
He never even thought about running off……..just
not in his nature.
couple of months after we got back to the UK we were told
Samson had contracted a seriously debilitating disease.
Very rare and eventually fatal. It broke our hearts…………..
mentioned the above because none of us are immune to the
ravages of life.
And neither are our dogs…………
Samson still remains in our hearts and minds. He was remarkable.
little anecdote reminds us that losing a friend we’ve
lived with for so long is indeed heartbreaking but the
point of the above is the indelible memory that they leave
us with. And without sadness and further grief it is this
that we should celebrate.
wonderful and happy memories
what do you do when your Spin goes sick??
in the case of The Dearest One…………………..
on get up off your lazy derrière and get outside
and do some work”
have a list here, read it”
hours for today:
in time: 0630hrs
out time: 2230hrs
Cut logs for log burner
2. Mend fence as discussed
3. Repair the pump house floor
4. Replace light bulbs as marked
5. Rubbish disposal
6. Tidy the mess you left in the loose box
Your tea breaks are 1030hrs – 1045hrs and 1500hrs
Lunch will be 12.15hrs – 1230hrs
Dinner at 2030hrs
Dearest One, I don’t feel well”
be such a wimp, you’ve got a cold, that’s
was annoyed now!!!
is NOT a cold” “This is man flu” “and
by implication, I am going through a near death experience”
have no idea how I feel and by sending me out there you
could well be condemning me to a fate worse than death”
admit that death has its advantages”? “It
will cut down on expenses” “However, it is
not on my agenda at the moment”
could see the cogs turning and the link between brain
and mouth working, and then it came
“You’re fully insured so all MY expenses will
be met” “Therefore you WILL complete all the
tasks I have set out for you”
your demise come at some point during the day, please
be courteous enough now to leave me details of where the
don’t worry about being found, I’m not bothered
about that”? “The dogs will find you”
I had found the insurance papers and left them on the
table, I ventured off outside
spent the first hour drawing effigies of The Dearest One
on each log before chopping it up!!!
didn’t make me feel better, but at least I worked
with a wry smile……………..
off course survived to live another day
a week or so later I came into the kitchen early one morning
feeling bright and breezy and rather healthy again. I
was full of the joys of Spring, happy, content with life
and had a plan for the day………..what
could possibly go wrong!!!!!!!
of the dogs is off colour” said the Dearest One
that Matagolian for good morning dear, and how are you
feeling today”? I asked
be sarcastic” She said “I’m serious”
you say that one of the dogs is off colour, just exactly
what do you mean”?
know damned well what I mean, sick, unwell, under the
weather, no longer healthy”
is it you don’t understand about that”
probably your fault”!!!!!
“How in the underworld did you reach that conclusion”?
had man flu, it was hardly rabies, distemper or hardpad”
way you went on about it, it might just as well have been”
come on then show me this canine that’s ‘Off
so she did.
had to admit that the Spinone in Question did indeed look
a little off colour and would further admit that it looked
how I had felt a week or two earlier.
Spin is off its food and doesn’t want to go out
with the others” “So I’ve just let her
a Spin to be off its food is a sure sign of something
not quite right. She looked lethargic, although that is
a contradiction really as they all look lethargic anyway,
unless there’s food about or a chance for a serious
I had to agree that this one was ‘off colour’
what to do?
it can’t say, Oh I’ve got a cold, man flu,
bad stomach, sore this that the other. Thankfully they
have not yet developed speech and I think if they did
it would be a nightmare?
think about it?
coming down one morning and the dog says “You’re
late, now let me out before I P & P on the floor”
or “Oh no not that bloody tinned stuff again I had
that yesterday and it tasted like !@#$%”!!!!!!
even “I want to go out now and sniff the air”
“take me for a walk, no lead either as I just want
to run myself stupid”
if you think I’m in a show ring mood then forget
it” “It’s embarrassing stood there and
some human is opening your mouth, running their hands
all over you” “How would you feel having that
done to you in public”?
anyway, I don’t feel I can show well enough today………I’ve
got some sniffing to do and need to check on the field
next to the woods, those rabbits have been back in there
not today, my mind is elsewhere, I cannot possibly concentrate
on showing off for you”
And of course “What do you mean she’s on heat”?
“I don’t care what you call it, just let me
she’s hot and I’m the cool dude then we should
make puppies together” “Now get out the way”
forgot where I was now. Oh yes the sick Spin.
suppose I’m a bit of a Spin Doctor really?? Not
in a political sense of course……we have 600
and odd idiots who allegedly do that for us in what we
call our Government – and most of those I could
happily let the dogs loose on!!!
wonder how many of those MPs claim expenses for their
– sorry…………..naughty Banker
should tax all dog owners!!
we could contribute more to the economy. Or just pay for
the bankers bonuses out of it. We might just as well,
given the Government are terrified of taking on the banks.
– hang on? Better still, let the dogs loose on the
Government and the bankers.
we could share their bonuses between us all, along with
the expenses thus ensuring we bring ourselves out of the
doom and gloom and have the best for our dogs as well!!!
that’s it then? Vote Banker!!! (Not sure that would
work – name change required)
was brought thunderously back to earth again with a real
you listening to me”?? Boomed her loudness. “Or
are you away again in the clouds with that odd imagination
the latter one my little cheesecake” “No no
I meant the former of course” “Yes I was listening
intently to your rhetoric” “How much did you
say you wanted”?
weren’t listening to me, were you”?
had no clue at all as too what was just said and my last
comment just made matters worse. It was no good, I had
to admit I wasn’t listening and could she repeat
for the sake of my health!!!
Spin will go without food today to see how she gets on,
then tomorrow I will try her on chicken and rice”
“Both freshly prepared and you are to go out and
purchase said items”
yes dear, of course”
I get some Anadin, Panadol, Penicillin, Kaolin and Morphine,
Andrews liver salts and some Milk of Magnesia as well
just in case”??
be so stupid” “You know damned well we can’t
give the dog any of those”
Dearest One, all of those combined would be a 100th of
the cost of going to the Ve………”
I couldn’t finish off the word
the thought of that would bring my man flu back again
and probably put me in such a depressive state I would
need all sorts of mind enhancing drugs to recover.
was then I heard the magic words “No. the Vets is
out of the question for now” “That would be
a last resort”
needs mind enhancing drugs with words like that. I skipped
and hopped and ran in a very jolly fashion to the Landy
to get the chicken and rice as commanded.
get to know your dog(s) over time and can generally tell
most minor ailments. Being off their food could be symptoms
of many things but would include, a bitch on heat, our
dogs prefer not to eat during part of this period. Probably
because if they did they might miss out on the, ‘chance
to’ if their head was stuck in a food bowl.
Bitches can be the same. If they have the runs as well,
they might drink more and eat less. An upset in the family
or the pack can disrupt their routine enough to curb their
eating habits. But for the most part we all know a simple
ailment to one that’s more serious.
you are part of an organisation for your breed as we are
with the Spins then you have many options to relay your
fears and get sound advice from those in the know. Or
at least know more than you do and if nothing else it
is also reassuring when someone says “Oh it’s
a bout of x, y or z and will soon pass” –
this is normally the case – the reassurance knowing
you can always ask for a second opinion before going to
pay the vets monthly mortgage payment.
vets are wonderful creatures and to be admired. Now they
know what’s wrong with your dog if you unfortunately
have to take them there. They’re very clever people.
also expensive!!!!! VERY
the price of drugs from a vet!!!!! Good grief……….and
words to that effect(ish)
I tell you I own a vet? Not really of course, but over
the years it certainly feels as if I do.
keep digressing. Sorry……….now let’s
get back to our sick Spin shall we?
the mission to procure chicken and rice (I cheated and
bought a ready cooked one) it was decided that our Spin
would go without food for 24 hours and see if whatever
it was that was upsetting her would be starved out of
her. Lots of fresh water of course but no food. During
the ‘tense’ 24 hours I occasionally went up
to stroke and reassure her that we were with her. The
Dearest one was like Florence Spinonegale dithering and
doting around her all day and talking to her like some
demented child…………it was pathetic.
was going to suggest she took some mind enhancing drugs
but given the pressure she was under this might cause
her to place the aforementioned mind enhancing drugs into
a place where I don’t have a mind. Nor one that
how’s my coochy coochy coo poor sick baby then”?
know baby it’s just not you today is it” “never
mind you’ll be fine tomorrow”
what about the classic “Mummy will keep you in the
warm today, sit here on the couch and I’ll make
sure that nasty man doesn’t disturb you” “Let
me put Cesar Milan on the television for you”
wouldn’t you just love the dog to talk at these
I’ve got an upset stomach OK” “Don’t
be so bloody patronizing and talk to me like I’m
one of your pathetic little humans that you bring here
now and again”
fine” “Now buggar off and let me sleep”
“I’m NOT your baby, I hate the coochy coo
crap, you’re NOT my mother and I hate Cesar Milan”
“Is that clear”??
go and clean, or wash or take the others out or whatever
it is you do” “But leave me alone will you”………………….
all react differently to our ailments so it’s the
same when our beloved doggies get sick – sorry,
dogs get sick. We take each moment on merit and react
following day our Spin took some breakfast of rice and
chicken (not the full amount in the bowl) and ventured
outside with the others. She was only out for 5 minutes
then trotted back in and took up space in the house again.
this was positive and we knew she would be back to normal
(whatever normal is for a Spin) in no time.
it was, 48 hours later you would never know she had been
‘off colour’ and she had returned to her normal
with health and fitness once more
think on reflection we do know a sick dog and we also
have a really good idea about how bad that sickness is.
We know ourselves well enough and although we have differing
pain thresholds (The Dearest One missed the queue for
pain threshold when they were being handed out, she got
double ‘being a pain’ instead) we either deal
with it ourselves when something goes wrong or we go to
the Doctors (I don’t mind them, they’re free)
it’s the same with our dogs, we know when to pay
the vets mortgage and also when we can deal with it ourselves.
We also have the advantage of the network within the breed
that works so well and this reassurance is most welcomed.
don’t panic when your dog goes ‘off colour’………ask
the audience, phone a friend or 50/50
Who wants to be a dog sick millionaire??
there you have it……………
Spin was happy, the Dearest One was happy and so was I
(No vet bill)!!
were back to Happy Families again!!!!
I admit……..but we’re a happy weird
just had a thought???
psychology versus us lot!!!
your dog follows your psychology, or ours at home!!!
God……….ours dogs will all be really
weird……the bitches like the Dearest One and
the Dogs like me!!!
this is a disaster in the making………
we could turn it to our advantage??
shall write to the important one’s in the dog world
and get new show classes created:
Weirdest Spinone Puppy over 6 months
- Weirdest Bitch
- Weirdest Dog
- Weirdest dog show person
- Weirdest owner
- Weirdest decision at a show (I bet that’s the
most popular category)!!!
- Weirdest show you entered
- Weirdest person you know with a Spin
sit there thinking you haven’t thought through one
or some of the above. I bet one or two of those would
get very well subscribed entries!!!!
on…………don’t be shy…………you
know I’m right
thinks this is another Bankers Notes!!!!!!
shall begin – The Bankers guide to Dog Psychology
and its owners
where did I leave my pills……………..??