The Banker and JJ - one to one
An interview with JJ Spinone

I came home not long back and predominantly my tasks were listed in an agenda handed to me by the Dearest one. The agenda was of course made up of several ‘jobs’ that wanted doing in and around the house. There were of a course a number of little things to do as well and these I duly prioritized in with the bigger items on the agenda list.
Number one item was “Dog sitting” – this was the critical element – the dog sitting.
And it started like this:
“You are to stay here and look after the dogs while I go off to Crufts and show Savannah” “you will exercise said dogs, feed them and ensure the health and welfare of them while I am away”
“Is that clear”?
“Oh yes Dear” “how long will you be gone”?
“Just for the day” “but that’s long enough for you, and as it involves multi tasking I don’t think you could last more than a day without suffering a seizure”
“Thank you dear, will that be all”?
“NO………..of course not “ “Food is in here, biscuits here, and don’t forget this and that and the other” “don’t do this, but you can do that………”
Blah blah blah………… all went into a haze at this point………………

And then the dearest one was gone…………….

And then the dearest one came back…………..

“We got reserve and I’m delighted, over the moon”

And so she was.

“You are to be pleased as well and show it through smiling and agreeing with me”

“Is THAT clear”?

“Oh yes dear magnificent, well done and (smiling) what a great result”

“Good man – now fetch me a fresh mug of tea”

“Yes dear, of course dear – you must be exhausted from all the praise you’ve had”!!!

I asked about the judging, the competitors, the crowds, the stalls, the everything.

The day ended peacefully. As they do!!!!!

Anyway, a few days later the Dearest one suggested!! We – WE take the dogs for a walk in the park. Oh Goody……….where the hell was this on the ‘agenda’??
Now the park is a BIG park
It is about an hour’s drive away and consists of - a park!! A considerably large and confusing wooded area consisting of a mix of both coniferous and deciduous trees, a couple of splendid wild life ponds, small but steep hillocks, lots of paths, strategically located benches and other carbon life forms walking around with or without their canine accompaniment.
This “park” also leads onto a beach, a flat beach that’s protected by sand dunes on one side and nothing but the sea on the other side!!! A minor sea breeze on the ‘other’ side of those dunes is like a raging tempest against you.
I smile as we saunter along, or rather the ‘breeze’ was forcing my cheeks back making it look like I was smiling. Underneath I was seething and mildly swearing at the way nature was making me look.
Anyway, the intention is to drive to the park, empty half a dozen Spins out of the Landy and let them run for 3 or 4 hours.
Yes people – the same Spins who have no concept of sit, stay, leads, other life forms and generally doing what they want, when they want……….Woofyleaks for real.

We met up with another carbon life form also stupid enough to have bought some Spins along as well. So there were many Spins…………I went all religious

Chorus moment – “Hallelujah”

Checklist – sweeties, dog toys, lighter, anabolic steroids, fruit juices, beta blockers, leads (what the hell for I don’t know) survival pack, Swiss army knife, cigarettes, cigars, doggy treats, high protein food packs, spare boot laces, note pad, pen, camera, mobile phone, compass, flare gun and flares, GPS and of course 5 x 2 gallon flasks of tea!!! (And none for me, the Dearest one ‘forgot’ the sugar)!!
Oh really

The Dearest One had nominated me as chief…………………..rucksack carrier!!! It took the 3 of us humanoids to lift it and then the Dearest One and friend unceremoniously ‘helped’ me get the straps over my shoulders and rest the bag on my back. I collapsed…….then helping me up, I balanced out the weight of the rucksack on my back against a 30 degree forward lean to compensate. This is not so bad I thought, until I tried forward leg movement. I collapsed…….
Eventually after the third attempt we got going…………..

And off we go………… (Oh God)

I was lost and disorientated after the first 50metres!!

The dogs were everywhere and whilst mainly staying in pack mode they failed to walk………walkies my ass…………those dogs couldn’t walk anywhere even if you tied their back legs together. And even then you’d have to catch them. No hope………..

The Dearest one and friend babbled aimlessly away to themselves leaving me to contemplate the theory of relativity and all known sciences along with further contemplating what the hell I was doing there given the ‘list’ I was handed with all those jobs to do at home.
My mate JJ was among the ‘pack’ and he occasionally came back up to me to see if I was still breathing, let alone keeping up with them all.
The Spins would clear off and sniff, stoop, lift a hind leg at what appeared to me to be almost every other tree. That reminds me – if, and it’s a BIG IF, I get reincarnated I do not want to be a tree!!!
Anyway, on we marched, us 3 humanoids, trees passed, paths crossed, until suddenly!!! We came across a pond, fair sized and deep.
And here came the Spins, to completely ruin the day of the Coots, Mallards, the Frogs and toads and whatever else lurked in amongst those reeds. The latter were mating, well up till those Spins got in the water!!!! Mating season abruptly halted. Albeit temporarily………

The Spins fetched out of the water sticks and tennis balls. Oh whoopy doo………..
They shook themselves down – all except one? JJ

THE DOG…………what a wimp. He went in up to his knees and decided it was not for him, yet took the ball/stick from whoever was retrieving at the time and proudly bought it back to us (well nearly/ almost could of done if he could have been bothered)
Through my observations I noted that the 3 of us (humanoids) did more of the retrieving than the Spins. Yet they got all the praise……….some of these you can see in the gallery as this was a ‘photo opportunity’ – allegedly.

And so it was onwards and forwards. Or backwards or sideways, I of course hadn’t a clue as to where we were. Some bloody walk this was turning out to be……….

JJ came up to me and asked if I was OK, “yea sure” I said – he had that look about him and I knew he wanted to tell me something. He cleared off again, but I got the impression he would be back.

Anyway, somehow we got to the beach and there were ‘others’ on the beach. The dogs kept running. The Dearest one and friend kept babbling, but at this stage I’m not sure if they knew what each other was saying given the ‘breeze’ carrying their voices away. And as for me? I kept thinking and observing.

After a while we headed back up into the sand dunes and over the top of them back into the woods (No breeze) and then we met other humanoids with their own pack of beasties.

“Oh look its such and such with fluffybella looloo and Ripper and Gnasher” and so on. The Spins are Spins and all without exception treated these minion beasties with disdain, lower class of canine and generally ignored them. Except one? Yep… mate JJ
He sauntered over to me and stood by my side as if to tell the others he had joined forces with the ‘other’ Alpha male. I could hear him thinking and the look on his face said everything. “What’s the point of all that barking and yapping? And for what? Attention, food or just an inferiority complex from the little dog”?
“Oh what it is to be a Spin……….”

The dogs by now were in and out of pond number two and fetching all sorts of flotsam and jetsam from, in and around the pond. Including the tennis ball brigade

I knelt down to sit with JJ and he asked me if he was going back into the show ring one day to be shown as he felt he “had what it took”
I said I didn’t know but it was a shame that he wasn’t, being such a fine dog as it were, in my view of course. I went on to explain to JJ that he was withdrawn from the ring because he didn’t have the right attitude? I mean yawning your head off in the initial lineup is not a strong showing point. And then that nice bitch sat on the edge of the ring you stopped and winked at was not showing yourself off in the best light. And I don’t believe you did yourself any favours cocking your leg at the judges table. And quite honestly JJ if you really want to go back in the ring you will have to follow the rules.

We agreed to chat later and compare notes.

The remaining dogs and humans had by now finished sniffing each other and stooping and cocking legs up trees and it was decided we should move on in our separate ways through the woods. Oh what joy………………

Note: The dogs had finished sniffing each other – the humans I’m not sure about

But for me it was getting better?? The Dearest One had consumed 3 of the 5 flasks of tea so my carrying burden was considerably lightened.

I let JJ off his lead and off he went running into the woods to catch up with the others.
I wondered if his back legs ached more than front as it appeared to me that at every other tree he would cock his leg. He never seemed to stride out and run the distance. Run, leg up, wait, leg down and off again. Just where the hell does all that liquid get stored? Amazing………it’s not like he has drunk 3 flasks of tea
The Dearest one has of course!!! (But on the other hand she wasn’t stooping at ever other tree either) “Curiouser and Curiouser” said Alice

We marched onwards and upwards, and downwards, and sideways again and again. I was losing faith now that the Landy would ever be seen again. Still we had our supplies and someone would rescue us. I thought we could send one of the dogs off to get search and rescue for us, but then realized if the worst came to the worst then no dog would go off for us and find help?? We were a potential meat source for them if it all went wrong!!!!
(I think I’ve seen too many movies)

Eventually, after tea breaks (The Dearest one) small stops for something or other we suddenly came out back in the car park!!!!!! Yipeeeee…………we made it. Or rather I made it. Then came doggy treat time. Of course if you have a packet of doggy treats in your pocket and open it in front of them, guess who becomes instantly popular? And no it wasn’t me.

What a fracas, no discipline at all those Spins? They did not queue like us idiots do, it was a free for all and first come first served including those who pushed, barged, jumped and leapt to the front on more than one occasion. And they all look the same so how do you know who’s had what? And who cares?

Eventually, with the Landy loaded full of Spins we were off home.
I wondered how the Dearest One knew we had all ‘our’ dogs. There were lots of them and how do I know that one stranger didn’t ‘sneak’ on board??
The next day I was knackered, er……….tired, my back was the shape of an apes and my arms and shoulders were alien limbs to me. And so the ‘to do’ agenda was curtailed somewhat to the smaller agenda items on my ‘to do’ list.
During the following day I followed through with JJ what we started to talk about in the woods. I took some notes and the following is what we concluded:

A couple of years ago or more the Dearest one entered our Spins in everything. I entered into the spirit of things by sponsoring our Spins for the show ring. But all is not what it seems?
You name it and we had a dog in it.

Best dog with four legs

Best Puppy with a tail

Best Bitch in a Bikini

Best dog in a thong

Best mature dog without a walking frame

Best in breed

Best out of breed

Best Inbred!!!!!

Best dog in uniform

Best Page 3, ‘Dogs World’ Bitch

Best Dog without a limp

Best sporting dog

Best unsporting owner

Best dog with all the correct breed standard attributes!!

Best dressed dog (this went to the Springer I saw at a show who was in a Barbour and green wellies)

And finally, Best dog you could show to Ceasar Milan!!!!!

Yes……… name it and we were in it……….

I love the local shows – I think they call them open shows, it is similar in the horsey world as well. There are the local shows where local villages centralize a location to have an annual show. Some of these are steeped in history and nowadays a genuinely great day out.

We used to show horses once and that was great fun – NOT…………….

Now I don’t like horses, yet have to admit I had some wonderful times at those shows including ‘The Royal Welsh’ – oh yes………..been there, done that………….

Some take it very personally!! Others like us had a day out, met like minded folk, had a laugh and win or lose we had fun.

It was at these shows I met some fascinating characters that will live with me forever. I have been so so lucky that in my life I have met and befriended some real English and Welsh Eccentrics . Yes, the real eccentrics that make you laugh at their dress code, their outlook on life and moreover their undying love of NOT letting go of tradition.

Some examples………..and these are ALL true (no names and no locations)!!!!!!!

- I was offered a fresh water salmon fishing trip near to a farm where I lived. Innocently, off I went with the farmer and his teenage son. We got to the river and son and I were ‘instructed’, ‘suggested’ to STAY under the bridge?
We had NO rods and lines!!! I heard the boot of the Landy open and close……….all went very quiet!!!
Then without warning a small firework type sparkler hit the water about 20 metres in front of us.
BOOM……….I went deaf for a couple minutes, then realized I was soaked to the skin from the water exploding all over me.
My eccentric friend had thrown a stick of dynamite in the river to ‘stun’ the fish –
And the idiot under the bridge………….
“You’re wet enough, now get in there and pick em up”

And we did………..several of them. all in one piece, all very stunned!! And all big…..I don’t like salmon!!! But several people told me they had never had such wonderfully fresh tasting salmon in their lives before
“Oh, where did you get this……its lovely”

I love shooting and have been privileged to shoot at many well known top gun (read top money) shoots across the country. My role in those days was of retriever!! Not the dog of course!! But I stood at a shooting post with a wealthy person who had paid out a small fortune to shoot that day. I had my dog and between us we had a ball (fun - and not a ball as in tennis or football)
The people with the money are a breed apart and some complete idiots, others deserved their money and the rest……………well let’s leave it that. But the stories……..I could write a book. A comedy…………
Some of them were really good shots, others had forgot to bring their glasses out of the Range Rover and were, quite frankly, a danger to us all. Even me, stood next to them!!
The dogs weren’t safe and they on the ground………….
I dreaded the afternoons when we were beating through a wood with the dogs and of course they would flush rabbits………these were game to the shots out in the field. Unfortunately in the heat of the moment the dogs were also targeted by short sighted over armed and generally crap shots………..and NO, I never saw a dog hurt. Bloody close sometimes but not actually hurt.
Hip flasks, cucumber sandwiches, fresh homemade cake, sloe gins, Range Rovers, Defenders, every type of whisky you could imagine, and the most interesting gossip and alternative rubbish you could ever think of was the chat of the day.
And the clothing……….oh yes the clothing. It is a strict rule that if you are not in the correct attire you cannot and will not be allowed to shoot. It is an unwritten law. Imagine then some of the cost of getting lord and ladies clothes. Hers a size 18++ and him with 48 inch waist……..oh god you should see some of them.
On muddy, rainy and miserable days it was business as usual……….unless you’re the above maneuvering through mud and muck………
It took four of us once to get his lordship on two legs after going down in a stream. Only for her ladyship to complain it was to ‘mucky’ and we were to escort her back to the house. Only for her to go face down in the mud whilst cursing us, life and the weather.
“Er………look out there’s a…………forget it, let us help you up……….”

- A friend of mine said to me one day………”I’ve got an idea”!!!!!!!!
This friend was a raving lunatic. A highly decorated war vet, an eccentric and an amazing human being “oh no” I thought, pulse racing.
“We’ll take the Bikes (my passion – motor cycles) to the French Grand Prix”
“But its next week and I have to work”
“Be sick”

From previous experience with this genuine lunatic, I agreed. We met a week later and I was fully prepared!! We had no maps, nothing booked and for some unknown reason that still haunts me today, we still set off………
Now in those days!! The French Bike GP was held at Circuit Paul Ricard, next door to the village where they make PERNOD in the South of France!!!!!! So navigation was easy…….we just asked where Pernod was…….right?? Wrong because every Frenchman has a bottle somewhere!!!!!
We also went the wrong way down there………Don’t ask.
A two day trip took 4.
We got there race day. Now that was good………….
When the racing finished HE decided that instead of going home we would ‘tour’ the whole of the coastline across the South of France!!!
And NO I am not joking……….
Work? What work??????

We spent 3 weeks along that coast. No, that’s not strictly true. He spent 4 months down there. I ran out of money and some of his and had to come back.

We met up some time later and I asked him where he’d been and who with? As you do…
I can only tell you that she was utterly gorgeous. They married (I went) they had 3 kids and lived happily ever after. Today they live near Banff in Canada.

So, why all that rubbish above?

Because we all have a story……about people or a person we know.

Its life and the strange behavioral patterns some humans have?

The sheep and the shepherd. Those who lead and those who follow……bleat bleat I went, setting off for the South of France!!!!!!!

The Wolf? Feed it and befriend it to your own advantage, make an enemy of it and get eaten up with the rest

The ‘Groupie’ always there following you around, but never part of you

The friend of a friend syndrome, Look after them and they will in turn look after you!!

The one’s who for selfish reasons need to be seen to be the best of the best, at any price and despite the obvious behind the scenes maneuvering. Sadly this group is simply making fools of themselves and in turn ONLY have a very small group of hangers on. Not friends as in friendship……….but hangers on. In it, for their own means

We ALL know one of the above category…………

And last but not least?

The one’s who want to be a part of it, but have never really grasped how to be a part of it and go over the top in trying.
These are the most dangerous? These get to the point of mistakes, upsetting those they wish to be part of and when that fails they play one off against the other. Eventually getting isolated and lost………………………..

We show in ALL our local events and I know the Dearest one has had some laughs at the local open shows because the judge – normally a local village celebrity who has never even seen a Spinone let alone judged one!!

So in amongst the kids dogs with best dresses on (the dogs not the kids) and the locals sheep dogs rounding the audience into the pen and then herding the cars in the car park to a frenzy where no one can get in or out, our Spins become winners outside of the ring with the crowds all curious and the kids loving its demeanor (it’s usually laid out on the grass by now)
It is this spirit that these shows entertain and amuse, and of course are entertaining. Who the hell cares if you win or lose? We didn’t, it was good to support the event, families met the Spins, we meet the locals and we all enjoyed the day come rain or shine.

The Spinone is a unique and wonderful breed, I have said this before.

However, it is JJ whom I have an association with the most in amongst all our Spins. Why?
Well because he was the one who introduced me to Woofyleaks and stops to chat with me when we’re out and about. He’s the one that annoys us the most with his belligerent attitude and the one who is afraid of nothing!!! He is the one always at the back of the pack when trouble kicks off!!!!! Bloody wimp……..

But JJ and I have an affinity (not that I’m a wimp)!! He will stay with me when we’re out and about, if we’re out together at home he listens to my waffling and sometimes we’ll have a cup of tea and a biscuit together. Sometimes he shares his Winalot treats with me (better eaten with a coffee) and I share my Digestives with him (a tea biscuit)
But for some unknown reason JJ and I share a common bond?
He watches and observes – and so do I……………….

It is with this Affinity that a little while back I asked JJ if he would let me interview him, a one to one away from the other dogs, partially because I wanted to know what makes him (them) tick, and partially to give you an insight into the thinking of a Spinnone.

Now I have written much about Woofyleaks and indeed about my personal interactions with the Spins in general. This Bankers note really started to ‘hatch’ after the walk in the park as noted above when JJ kept coming back to me. I suspect mainly out of pity……….

But have you ever stopped to think what they might be thinking??

I have, and so without any further delays here is the JJ interview in full:

TB – Now JJ I know you watch me carefully and as a trusted biped I am intrigued as too why you take such an interest. The head movement when I talk to you, the movement in anticipation…why do you this?

JJ – We know we can’t take over the world but on the other hand we need to keep an eye on our development. You humans think you know it all and can do it all, but your sense of smell is hopeless, your hearing very poor, you can’t run as fast nor cover the terrain we can. So we are adapting ourselves to your good points – that’s why I watch, listen and try to comprehend you. We’ll never take over the world – no – but we have taken over yours!!!!!

TB – Wow, that is pretty condemning of us and whilst you are right of course, the one thing we can do better than you is of course think for ourselves and do for ourselves

JJ – Yes but you are hopeless when small. Our puppies can feed themselves, walk as we do from virtually day one. Within weeks we can run and fend for ourselves. In the home this is easy for us because you do it all for us, but if we’re in the wild we would survive. You would not

TB – This is all very negative, but what about a mate?

JJ – Who cares? If she’s ready then we do what we have to do - your species is lucky as she’s always ready!! And you can control your breeding. We can’t and don’t need to because it is about survival. The issue here is of course the fact that we’re wild animals at heart and therefore we are balanced by nature. It was only when you interfered with it that we are today where we are with our line

TB – So we have got the tough bits out of the way, what about Woofyleaks and how did that come about?

JJ – We Spins recognized long ago that you used us for what we were intended for. HPR as you call it. We consider ourselves elite amongst the canines. Some time back a group got together and decided to rebel against the humans and make life as difficult as we could hoping you would free us and allow us to do what we pleased when we pleased. You lot rebelled and for a while we had to regroup and rethink our strategy

TB – OK I understand all that but why are you so set in your ways and inconsiderate when we have your best interest at heart. After all if you’re hurt we take you to the vet, you can’t do that in the wild

JJ – Yes this is true enough but on the other hand in the wild we let nature take its course and the best of the best survive, all our species survived long before there were any vets? This method is cheaper and nature does not cost a fortune!! So how come we’re still here?

TB – Good point – but go on about Woofyleaks

JJ – Anyway, we decided we would produce a sort of 10 commandments for our breed to follow:

1. Don’t fetch the ball, Don’t sit when told and definitely don’t let you put a lead on us
2. In the house, take up all the couches and chairs and if a human sits next to you stretch out over it until it moves. If we’re on the floor then lay down in all the most inconvenient places – but make sure its within dropping distance of food
3. If off the lead – clear off into the distance, this is one my favourites and a lot of owners poo themselves thinking we’re gone for good. In reality we know EXACTLY where you are because we smell you out – easy.
4. Be first third and fifth in the food queue
5. At the first opportunity lay down and get instantly bored – create maximum embarrassment for the human
6. Show when we want and NOT when you want
7. Sniff children in pushchairs – as we are much higher than them and they’re useless creatures anyway this is great fun as it upsets the humans
8. Snatch food from strangers – another super annoying trait we love to do
9. Pull constantly on the lead or refuse to go at your pace and even stop - just because we can
10. Take full advantage of our demeanor and use it against you

JJ Again – There are of course other minor one’s but these we consider cast in stone if I can use that phrase……

TB – If we are that bad then why stick with us?

JJ – It’s not that you’re bad, it’s just an easy life. I mean why should we revert to nature when you give us all we want anyway. That’s just ridiculous. No different to you in that respect - if you had an endless stream of money you would be just like us

TB – Ah JJ you got me there – you’re right. But this does not explain the 10 commandments does it?

JJ - In a way it does, as we all elected to follow them because otherwise what fun would it be? We would be thoroughly bored and having the instinct to HPR we need to be out and about. We need to be able to strut our stuff and so the 10 commandments gave us the opportunity to be ourselves but at the same time take full advantage of you humans. If you weren’t so stupid we would not have that level of freedom would we?
Take where we live for instance, we’re lucky to have the fields and woods to run around in

TB – Yes you do, but why then do you completely ignore my calls and whistles when I want you back in – even at food time?

JJ- This is easy. Do you know how funny it is for us when you come out of a night for example with a torch and look for us. We know where you are and yet you have no idea where we are and as you know from experience most of the time we have sneaked in behind you leaving you outside calling and whistling when we’re already eating or asleep – when you’ve come back in and cursed us and disappeared into your room we have a right old laugh

TB – Oh so you think that’s funny do you? From our perspective we don’t want you in the field where the sheep are. We don’t want you running down to the road and although it’s a mile away you could get there in minutes. We care about what’s around us

JJ – The sheep are no challenge to us. Waste of time they are. They are just big fur balls and can’t run and we have to chew through 6 inches of wool just to get to the skin. It’s no wonder you eat them because you have tools to do it with – and anyway why waste time on something that’s not a challenge

TB – So what is a challenge to you then?

JJ- Rabbits are excellent fun. Fast, turn quickly and have holes they dive in. if we get one they are easy to destroy and are tasty even raw

TB – Oh great, a bit too much information but I get your point. So the rabbit offers a challenge, what else?

JJ – Foxes. They smell to kingdom come, are very clever and cunning. They’re easy for us to track because they use one run consistently that is there boundary and yet are fast if spotted. They can fight as well and this is the ultimate challenge. We’ve seen them here and have gone after them but you fence off the fields and ruin our moment
Chickens are useless but I like them cooked and with a few biscuits, if you have made that gravy stuff of yours then that’s even better. You can’t hunt that and if you do we couldn’t prepare the gravy

Your cars are a clear and present danger and we still don’t understand them and they break your teeth if you bite one. The Landys good though because if we’re in that we know we’re about to have fun. But I will tell you this………..we know the difference between a show drive, a vet drive and a run in the park or the beach

TB - That’s interesting. How can you tell the difference?

JJ – That’s easy. The show is when you take the Tea urn, the vet is the atmosphere of not knowing what to expect and the run around the park or the beach is the clothing – and lots of tea urns!!!!

The other thing is the sense we get from how you react and the atmosphere you set up for us – that’s where we score over you humans. We can sense everything

TB – So what about the Land Rover coming up the drive to the house then? How do you know and why bark if you ‘think’ you already know who it is?

JJ – We can both hear it miles before you can and of course sense the air change, this is what we do naturally. The barking is a contingency really? It is us covering our backs just in case the Landy is another one from the farm next door – either way we’re right!!

TB – What hobbies do you have?

JJ – I love picking up the Springer after he’s fetched your stupid ball or stick. He is such an idiot and completely brainless. I like to poo against an object because it makes it really difficult for you to pick it up. I enjoy chewing bones and those tripe sticks, but I guess I like taking them off the Springer as well – a great feeling of satisfaction. At food time I enjoy sitting down at the back of the queue, not like the others jumping and woofing – that to me is a waste of time and energy because you’re going to feed me anyway. And on that subject I eat last as well because then I can pretend to rip the heads off the others who have finished before me and come to see if I’ve left any food in my bowl. I like pottering around the garden and the woods as well – just doing my own thing. Duncan’s like that as well and when we get fed up we come back in anyway

TB – Do you have anything you hate?

JJ – Oh yes there are a couple of things. Being kept from the in season bitch, that’s really frustrating. That Old Springer gets it then………I also hate the vet

I hate being cut, trimmed and generally tidied up. I am comfortable as I am and I don’t need you to make me look how ‘you’ want me to look
I don’t like to be shown either, I’m the best anyway and you don’t need a judge to tell you that
I hate myself at times for being over annoying, but I love it in equal measure, it pleasures me to see you so frustrated

TB – So what do you love then?

JJ – Oh that’s easy, bitches in season, the right food, blasting around the park and beach, being utterly belligerent to others when we’re out, pulling your legs off if you’ve got me on a lead, doing the opposite to the command.

TB – So are you admitting then that you a real pain in the ass at times?

JJ – I’m disappointed in that statement for one reason? And that is the “at times” bit – I, and I suppose ‘we’ want to be the pain in the ass all the time – not part time

TB – JJ, we could fall out here and now. It’s not that you’re all the same you know. I hate to disappoint you but you all have different personalities like us humans. Mia is very good with us for example, Savannah is the opposite, Duncan in the middle and Kallie has good days. So what is it with you?

JJ – I introduced you to Woofyleaks for no other reason than you could adjust to us. Not change you of course, but adjust. For me, Woofyleaks epitomizes how we should be, it is the definitive guide for all us Spins to follow and each of us has our own interpretation of it, hence why you have the mixture of us as you said earlier in the interview

TB – So what you’re saying JJ is that we should put up and shut up?

JJ – Well yes of course. If you want us as your ‘pets’ then those are the rules. You have yours and we have ours. Why not? It is after all what you call democratic. Some you win and most you don’t!!

TB – Do you think this interview has helped bridge the gap between us humans and you Spins?

JJ – Yes to be fair I do. Now that we are here in numbers the timing was right for us to talk like this. I think also talking to you it has helped me see things differently. But don’t go thinking we will change just to suit you. If we allowed that to happen then the balance of power would change also. As it stands today we have I think, both accepted the compromise

TB – We’ll close the interview now JJ, do have any last words of advice for us?

JJ – I don’t think that in the future things will change no matter the Spin or the owner, we have our 10 commandments and all Spins live by them. You should do your best to accept that that is the way it is and is going to be. I will say this though – you as a species are quite good and do look after us very well. Although we can survive without you it is the one thing we did give in to. You humans were never going to go away so sensibly we decided as a breed that it was better to live with you than without, but with conditions. It is those conditions that we set out in the 10 Commandments

TB – Thank you JJ for your patience and your time in allowing me to interview you like this, I’ve enjoyed the discussion

JJ – Yes Thank you to and I also felt it was useful for both our species. Now, where’s my tripe stick and vet bed, I’m bored now!!!!!!

The interview finished, JJ wanders off to take his tripe stick and the one off the Springer back to his vet bed. Although someone else is lying on it this makes no difference as he will no doubt lay on them and then they have to move off ‘his’ vet bed so it’s his for him alone to rest on ………..
It seems to me that the Spins 10 Commandments are not just for us humans???



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