I’ve just had a few weeks at home,
in part for a break from work but mainly to support the
Dearest One who had, up until I got back, been the sole
survivor of the puppy invasion via our Super dog Kallie.
Oh brother was I in for a shock…………….but
more on that later
Airports, long haul flights and 20 hours of travel takes
its toll directly from a day’s work and goodbyes
back in the office. By the time the Dearest One has finally
decided that she will pick me up from the train station
I am ready for one thing?? ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
not this time!!!
pick me up from the station was the Dearest One of course
(after a bout of “what’s in it for me if I
pick you up”) and alongside her was her trusty friend
and from the Italy trips her driving colleague and companion.
We’d never met before although I had heard all the
stories!!! And yes, this one is well documented from both
friend was of course another multi Spin owner and I have
to say a good all round egg when it came to dealing with
have to be a good boy as I know she will read this!!!!
for the record and before I write anymore – it was
great to have met you and I thoroughly enjoyed the company
and the laughs over those couple of days. (Phew……….now
I can write in peace and without conscience)!!!
here I am then……..home at last. Lovely weather,
meet and greet the dogs……30 minutes, review
small brown and white ish four legged fat little blobby
The Dearest One? “OK, now you’re here this
is the list of jobs you’re to complete along with
‘assisting me’ with the brood” –
“now get changed, you’ve got work to do”!!!!!!
(Now remember I’m tired and at this point had NOT
noticed anything out of the ordinary)
first it was the all important………….cup
of tea, sit down with Dearest One and buddy and get the
local gossip, so I’m up to speed on people places
and things – and don’t let anyone tell you
that the countryside is a peaceful place!! Not with our
locals it isn’t. They are the epitome of gossip
and fun and a great laugh and the list of characters almost
then decide to go on walkabout around the place and take
the dogs out with me. I spend time with JJ catching up
on Spin gossip and to see if there is anything new from
Woofyleaks and generally to see if I can input to anything
a good return for me………..he’s
it’s good to be back!!
The Dearest One had prepared my list of to do’s
which to be fair was quite reasonable and enabled me some
free time between midnight and 5am.
following day was one of catch up on local events and
to understand the regime with the puppies which was more
or less what I expected and not being an expert in this
area drew advice from the one that must be obeyed at all
times (All Hail)
a ‘suggestion’, I got in the room with the
pups (and yes they had their own room) in order I get
to know them? Familiarize myself as it were. Fine with
that and no issues!!!!
there was an issue………..how the hell
does 8 mini spins poo that much?? For the next couple
of weeks I was assistant poo collector and get rid oferra.
I cannot work out why those pups did not grow smaller
by the day let alone bigger.
know, one morning I worked out on a piece of newspaper
(unsoiled) that if each pup ate say a small bowl of food
at each of four feeding sessions then how come it seemed
to poo a big bowl after each session. I was stunned that
the math’s didn’t work……how the
hell do they grow up with more coming out than going in??
take my hat off here to the Dearest One (A moment of Praise)
who diligently and routinely kept that puppy area not
just clean but very well kept for those pups well before
my arrival home. They were not hard work, as so much you
had to be consistent and reliable with everything.
After a while I got used to it, go in puppy room, all
eight charge over to your feet (that’s all they
can manage to do) then all eight chew your feet regardless
of footwear, you try to walk to discover all eights teeth
(very sharp one’s) have attached themselves to:
a) your shoe b) your sock c) your skin – and it
does not stop there?
bend down to start the paper changing process, and bored
with the feet they now go for the hands and arms and those
mini claws on those big feet?? are Sharp, and like the
Dearest One I ended up looking like I had been in a one
sided hedge fight.
over a couple of days I turned this all into a bit of
fun?? So if you’re breeding your Spin or whatever
else and are using paper as a litter bed, I would like
to suggest the following:
Do not just put the paper down to get the job done?
2. Select the clean newspaper you intend to use
3. Go through the newspaper quickly and note the page
3 girl, the footballer, the politician, the nasty person
or if there’s a picture of someone you dislike for
4. Then place these sheets on the floor, picture side
5. The page 3 girls were for me to look at apart from
6. Then I would check every hour or so (relative) to see
which of my favourite!!! Football stars, politicians,
bankers etc have been shi(sorry) pood on from a short
7. If they went the time without being pood on then fine,
but some got pood on twice!!
8. Choose your favorite celebrity and see if they’re
in more than one paper, more chance they get pood on…….
are of course no prizes as to who gets pood on first or
pood on the most. It’s just for fun!!!
know, throughout the first couple of days I was at home
the Dearest One’s friend was ambling around with
a camera. No use of course when it came to puppy sitting!!!
But she was a guest and I was under the threat of exclusion
from breathing again if I was in any way naughty.
OK fine, but the camera?? A very nice one as well and
I did wonder (but dare not ask of course) if she knew
what she was doing with it?
came to pass that our guest and that camera then went
on to provide me with a little more of my imaginative
moments………….but before all that?
while ago I wrote somewhere in one of the Bankers notes
about Kallie being on heat and me being threatened with
nominal violence if I let the dogs out WITH Kallie……….I
didn’t of course, but it was VERY close.
why this time did I also come home to discover Savanna
was on heat and the same rules applied again. Well OK
then I didn’t exactly discover that Savanna was
on heat I was ‘reminded’ that my return back
to work depended on ME keeping the dogs from the bitch
as it were.
Oh no not again……………..
let’s have a look at what we have then for me to
contemplate on having been home for just 24 hours:
1 (Be a good boy and do not upset her – people don’t
understand you and that’s why we had to move here,
2 (I did not know about this until Guest 2 actually arrived
– another Spin buddy but this one I knew, and well!!!
Guest 2 encourages me to be jolly naughty and bring over
sized amounts of a non healthy substance through our wonderful
know I know Dear, be a good boy when you write all this
up……be nice to the people
at night and guess who was the Gordon Ramsey for the night??
Gordon Bleu Banker…..
Oh yes and of course despite my ban they consumed copious
amounts of wine…………
The Italians have a lot to answer for.
poo factory to logistically operate a clean, remove and
dispose service to………
yes and one more thing? I still had my, to do list………..
than that the first few days were a piece of Cake!!!
god, I nearly forgot. That wasn’t all it was….
the garden we have a very substantial timber framed Rabbit
run where once upon a time a rabbit run!!
rabbit passed peacefully away (honest)
the rabbit run has been empty for some time. That is until
(enter stage right) the Grimbles from next door decided
it would be really good to put some chickens in there!!!
introduction to the Grimbles in the Bankers Notes has
just been a matter of time. They are the Dearest One’s
parents and for want of a better description live next
door to us. With another generation added to the script
they offer another dimension to my tales of life.
are a great source of several things!!! Exasperation,
alcohol, cakes, teas, sandwiches, dog sitting occasionally,
laughs, frustration, a bowl of sugar, tea bags and so
are often up in their place of abode for tea breaks and
a chat. They are not what you might call 21st century
which to an extent I admire. They have mobile phones that
are so dated we could sell them to a museum. What’s
more, if we send them an SMS they don’t know how
to access it!!!!! and, if they could access it?? They
don’t know how to reply!!! By implication there
is no laptop or PC and in turn for tea and biscuits they
rely on the Dearest One to book their playgrounds when
they go away on their trips. Oh yes they drive as well……they
used to tow a caravan until a while ago but sensibly gave
it up after 15,987 complaints from those stuck behind
them. The BBC broadcast traffic congestion updates when
they went on the road with that thing in tow.
good fun they are………….
chicken’s are their latest venture!!
eggs and all that, and if they don’t lay the eggs
they demand, then they have fresh chicken put on the menu.
The psychological affect on the chickens has had two effects??
1) They are laying eggs out of fear (you should see the
look on their faces) and 2) if one lays an egg another
will sit on it so they’re not the one dragged off
to the kitchen kicking and screaming because they look
as if they laid it, but didn’t (I added the latter
for the dogs I suspect they have their own views on the
Grimbles, but they tolerate them and I once saw one of
them stroking a Spin (The Grimble of course, not the chicken)……….this
was rare and I wished I’d have had my camera to
capture the moment.
when the pups were being born they were superstars!!!
Despite the eccentricities – Grimbles, we salute
me wanting camera to capture Grimble stroking Spin moment
also runs true to our friend that was with us. Remember
her?? Well she did have a camera and the weather being
so nice she stalked the Red Kites.
have quite a few around us and they are a daily source
of entertainment and fabulous flyers. So it did not take
much for our intrepid nature photographer to try and capture
some of these moments with the Kites.
nature photographers wear camouflage of some kind to blend
in with the surroundings and give themselves a genuine
opportunity to take some decent pictures, and it is no
surprise then that our photographer was no different?
worked hard to photograph the Kites at work rest and play
- wearing bright PINK!!!!!!!!
stood out more than a standing out thing…………I
bet the Kites reason for flying around us in ridiculous
patterns were because they were laughing their heads off…….
one to leader – over”
“Come in Red one”
“Have you seen that human lunatic down there in
pink trying to photo us - over”?
“Yes Red one, looks like a strawberry blancmange
on legs - over”
“What tactics do we use Leader – over”
“Fly low away from it and keep straight, tease it
rather than show off, then when it goes away we come out
and do it properly” “Red one – do not
attempt landing at this stage in the old oak tree –
“Will do leader and good plan, very annoying for
“By the way leader did you notice those odd looking
rabbits down there? I counted about 8 of them and all
very meaty and tasty looking”
“Yes Red one but they’re for another time
and not so sure the humans would appreciate one of them
hung on the branch in the old oak tree”
“Copy that leader and will leave alone – for
God, where was I? Oh yes our visitor on nature photography………
I did try to delicately suggest a change of attire but
it fell on deaf ears. Nevertheless, undeterred she carried
on regardless and eventually from what seemed like hundreds
of shots taken we established that maybe one or two were
couple of days later when our friend had left us to move
onwards and upwards the Dearest One decided that it was
time to introduce the pups into the ménage. They
were 7 weeks old and full of life and we felt it would
do them good.
so it was to pass that just like Noah and the ark I was
‘requested’ to carry down to the ménage
two pups at a time until they were all assembled in the
big dogs playground.
Oh what fun they had……The Dearest One meanwhile
carried HER camera down and proceeded to photo the mini
spins at play.
what joys and pleasures they bring and for once I was
not following them around with a newspaper. Nor indeed
was the ménage ground covered in newspaper. However,
it went very quiet!!!!
Dearest One summoned my attention and I duly ran over
to her to see what the problem was?? She was looking up
into the skies??
was then I noticed that the Red Kites (4 of them) were
circling overhead clearly viewing the ground contents
of 2 humanoids and 8 small fat hairy potential food sources.
The Dearest One told me to get the pups indoors………..no
panic there then!!! I tried to explain that essentially
they were carrion birds preferring dead meat – road
kill etc. but when required would kill. The latter end
of my sentence I desperately wanted to take back. I reassured
her that whilst we were in with them they would be fine
and that no Kite would come within a mile of us. Just
as one glided slowly over our heads about 10 meters off
did it!!! All hell broke loose………..the
pups had to go back inside. Despite my protestations and
attempts to convince otherwise, back inside they had to
go. But how???
Two by two would not work as they would surely be exposed
and I had visions of one being carried off over the trees
with the Dearest One throwing stones at it (the Kite not
the pup) I did tell her they were protected……..Stupid
thing to say Banker. Stupid, stupid Banker……..
There was only one thing for it??
them ALL in the wheelbarrow and take them back to the
house in that, and so I did and have the photo to prove
over, it was time for tea.
and it’s a big BUT…………..my
little session in the ménage caused me some personal
damage and whilst at the time I ignored it, I was alarmed
to see that I had been bit by something??
I was in the ménage with the pups I had remembered
scratching my neck and then my arm. I took no notice at
the time being busy with the pups and the Royal Red Kite
corps flying overhead.
in the mirror I noticed a considerable chunk of my neck
missing leaving quite a sore behind. My arm near the elbow
was the same, I went down to the ménage again to
look around and amazingly a large ‘fly’ landed
on my arm and proceeded to bite me, HARD. It was then
I remembered the ‘sting’ I felt when I was
down there earlier, but this was no sting, it was a bite.
being me I decided to investigate and had by now got a
good look at the perpetrator of this heinous crime against
had been bitten by Haematopota pluvialis –literally
‘Blood-drinker of the rains’. Colloquially
known as the Cleg. You may of course already know this
species as the Horse fly.
horse flies feed on nectar and sometimes pollen and are
important pollinators. However, the females also require
a blood meal to promote egg development (males lack the
necessary mouth parts for blood feeding) The bite affects
different people in different ways of course and for me
it was now 3 large open sores. Whilst I kept the areas
very clean it took two weeks before they were healed.
yes and for future reference - it’s body is grey,
with black longitudinal stripes, and the wings have a
dark mottled pattern. If you do get to see the eyes!!
They are large and multi coloured….but I don’t
recommend getting that close. They hurt………..
within the Bankers notes is a moment of drama!!!
back in the house………….
daily, no I’m wrong, the hourly chatter was the
Dearest One constantly referring to the ‘One’
she would keep for showing.
this one’s gorgeous but it’s got hair up its
one is female and is perfect………except
it’s too dark, too light, has the wrong expression”
the photo this one looked great but I’ve promised
him to x people”
this one is so show ring, but I can’t, no it wouldn’t
be right it’s got too big, small, long, short, round,
so it went on…………
would be questioned which one I thought we should keep??
God you have to be joking don’t you?? They’re
all the same for God’s sake………Stupid
Banker, when will he ever learn.
then proceeded an hour long lecture (with samples) of
how each pup was different!!!
When I came round some time afterwards I decided I was
best off outside doing some of the jobs from my list.
So armed with all the big dogs off I went.
this point forgetting one minor thing?????
accidentally let Savanna (she of the heat) out with them
all. Benny Hill moment
got her back and impounded without too much fuss –
at least that I’ll admit to here. But a sigh of
relief and a smile and it was off to work as normal.
lasted about 10 minutes as the Springer had found a bloody
tennis ball, which meant only one thing. The retrieve
the ball game……..the Springer is a 100% dead
cert to win every time.
So I put him on a lead and me, JJ and Duncan played.
was at this point that I noted Duncan never won and gave
up. JJ was the victor. Duncan’s a bit special and
a splendid dog. He can easily run with the pack and always
does when we’re all out either at home or in the
woods/park/beach. But Duncan can’t sprint –
a kickback to his upbringing. So I employed two tennis
balls, no Springer and with JJ doing long distance retrieving
it gave me and Duncan plenty of time to retrieve his own
ball at his own pace, and he loved it
is a superb retrieve and bring it back to you literally
at your feet. He really makes me laugh over something
he taught himself because of the other dogs? You see he
used to come back to you and drop the ball nearby where
another Spin would pick it up and clear off with it. The
Springer was another threat, as he would then pick it
up and bring it to you even though he was 3 foot away!!
JJ adopted the retrieve, bring it to your feet, keep in
mouth then go down on all fours and place the ball under
his mouth. I kneel down, he lifts his head and there is
has seriously annoyed the others……….smug
plays as well!! But when she gets the ball you can’t
have it back!! One throw and if she gets it – game
now I was out with 3 tennis balls and this is getting
well, game over and time for a cup of poo……….Oh
God, it’s getting to me all that poo collecting.
Not to worry, I have my poo on the celebrity game, which
amuses me each time I go back in the pup room and see
who’s been pood on.
of course eventually the Dearest One chose ‘our’
in doing so has set off another chapter in the Awelymor
Spinone world. Said pup is a female and we have called
not follow our pups progress in Freya’s Diary –
written by yours truly. A weekly update for all to enjoy!!
not follow?? Well you may have better things to do, cut
the grass, feed the cat, feed the dog, take the dog for
a walk, or a run if it see’s the cat, feed the wife
or husband, take the wife or husband for a walk to the
park and let them off to run and play and bring the ball
back. You could drive out somewhere and go running and
jumping along the beach. Or just do what the Spins do?
next time…………take care out there.